First of all, I want to thank everyone who reads this blog on a regular basis – or anyone who has even read it once…for that, I offer you THIS:

Well, perhaps not, but I do appreciate the interest in the stories: whether they are about food, travel, movies, music, or even stuff like THIS:

Yes, if you saw my story, you know that Chinese Burger King customers have started to “super size” their meals at the salad bar…and if you’ve ever read a blog post of mine, then I can guarantee you’ve seen one of these:

Of course I LOVE burgers – and bacon too! I especially love bacon when someone has done something REALLY WRONG to it – like creating a bacon sandwich with ten pounds of bacon – like this one!

A Bacon Mona Lisa!

And I love when people use bacon for “non-food” things like making a portrait of the Mona Lisa – all out of bacon!

All The Stories Will STILL Be On Johnrieber.com FIRST!

As always, EVERY story is posted on this site first and foremost…but I wanted to also offer a place to go for a “best of” look at some of the topics I’ve posted about A LOT…like the wackiest place in the world: TOKYO!

Because I’ve posted so many food stories, I’ve set up a website that will showcase all of my food posts, like the one that focused on the “bread-cheese-bacon-bread-cheese-bacon-bread” cheeseburger!

If you want to see ALL of my food posts in one place, please check out my new site!

http://biteeatswallow.com/

But, to reiterate, all of these stories will be posted primarily here, on my main site…that goes for all of the following “best of” sites….like the collection of travel stories I’ve done….because sometimes I just want to get away, like here to Cannes…

So, if you like to travel as much as I do, then maybe you want to catch up on some of the older travel stories!

I have also put my favorite travel stories on one site as well…along with this main site, all of my stories about Japan, Seoul, Australia etc will live on a travel site as well – and of course Cannes, where I love to go to relax:

Sign up if you want to see all of my travel stories by going HERE!

http://spinningorbit.com/

And, if your musical tastes “go to eleven”, then I’ve got all of my favorite music stories on a special blog for you too!

I love posting stories about my favorite music – sometimes The Beatles, always Todd Rundgren, and even “Spinal Tap”!

Check all of those stories HERE!

http://musicplatter.com/

And finally, there is a special place in my heart for a certain type of movie:

That’s right – classic exploitation is a lost art form that needs to be embraced and celebrated – and it’s not all old stuff, either – let’s not forget “J-sploitation!”

You will still find ALL of these stories posted here first, but if you need some ideas for weekend viewing – yes, it’s the crazy world of exploitation HERE!

http://jrsploitation.com/

Of course, if you are reading this, you’ve come across my main site, and to reiterate, ALL stories are posted here. This is where I cover such breaking news as these “sushi poppers!”

Or, you can find out about the world’s skinniest buildings!

And don’t forget, I broke the story of “Ramen burgers” first!

http://johnrieber.com/2013/05/16/wacky-ramen-burgers-crazy-japanese-burger-menu-east-meets-west-with-video/

Or, you can read about Jo Nesbo, the best fiction writer in the world right now!

“Making You An Offer You Can’t Refuse…”

Finally, I will continue to share my favorite films, along with many inside stories like this picture from the filming of “The Godfather” – Robert Duvall wearing Marlon Brando’s lines!

I mean – I LOVE THIS PICTURE!

No matter what you come for, I hope you enjoy the posts – and please sign up for the specific sites as well to see those specific subjects that interest you…please let me know what you think, and thanks for your support!

“The Day The Clown Cried!”

Fans of the most misguided films ever made are in a frenzy today with the discovery of rare “lost” footage from the Jerry Lewis unreleased film “The Day The Clown Cried!”

The Day the Clown Cried. That’s right, the internet is going wild over the legendary, never-released footage from master Comedian Jerry Lewis!

Here is the story of this legendary, never seen film: Jerry Lewis starred and directed this 1972 lost film, which is all about a circus clown who is imprisoned in a Nazi camp. He entertains the children who are there, and in the rumored finale, finally leads them in full clown makeup into the gas chambers.

“Lost Clown Footage!”

This story just broke, and I will credit the website that I saw break the story in a second. Here is a clip now available on youtube – we will see how long it stays available:

Jerry Lewis was one of America’s most revered comedians – with such legendary performances as “The Nutty Professor” and of course, his work with Dean Martin. But it seems he wanted to be taken more seriously as an Artist…

But Wait…Doesn’t “Clown” Sound Familiar?

By now you are thinking: isn’t this legendary “lost” film somewhat similar to “Life Is Beautiful”, Italian rubber-faced funnyman Roberto Benigni’s critically-acclaimed 1997 film?

As reviews said at the time: “Benigni accomplishes the impossible in his World War II comedy Life Is Beautiful: he shapes a simultaneously hilarious and haunting comedy out of the tragedy of the Holocaust.” And he won Best Actor for it! So why not Jerry?

This is known as one of the worst ideas for a movie of all time – so why has the similar “Life Is Beautiful” been so acclaimed? It’s an interesting question to ponder as you imagine “what if ‘the day the clown cried’ was ever finished?”

I wrote a lengthy story about the most misguided films of all time – and this was on the list – because it is difficult to imagine how legendary comedian Jerry Lewis could make a film about leading children into the gas chambers during the holocaust…but as I said, “Life Is Beautiful” has a similar “idea” driving it…

There have been a few stories written by people who CLAIM to have seen it, or who say that Lewis is still bitter that nobody took him seriously about the film or his intent…

Congrats To Daily Grindhouse!

This terrific website is devoted to exploitation films and a celebration of the “grindhouse” era of film – I’ve also written a ton of stories about this genre – go to my home page and put that word in and start the celebration!

The Daily Grindhouse has a great writeup all about this amazing footage – where it came from and what it means….click the link to read the whole story!

http://dailygrindhouse.com/thewire/footage-lost-jerry-lewis-holocaust-film-day-clown-cried-discovered/

The Ten Most Misguided Films Of All Time!

And if you want to see my entire list, click the link below and be ready to be stunned!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/02/08/ten-most-misguided-movies-of-all-time/

“I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is back on the scene! I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is my name, and fuckin’ up motherfuckers is my game!”

And with that, I introduce you to one of Blaxploitation’s most famous characters:

Dolemite!

“Man, move over and let me pass ‘fore they have be to pullin’ these Hush Puppies out your motherfuckin’ ass!”

Rudy Ray Moore created Dolemite in a 1975 blaxploitation film, and also co-wrote the film and its soundtrack.

Moore, who started his career as a stand-up comedian in the late 1960s, heard around that time a rhymed toast by a local homeless man about an urban hero named Dolemite, and decided to adopt the persona of Dolemite as an alter-ego in his act.

“That rat-soup-eatin’, insecure honky motherfucker!”

Dolemite is a pimp who was set up by Willie Greene and the cops, who have planted drugs, stolen furs, and guns in his trunk and got him sentenced to 20 years in jail. One day, Queen B and a warden planned to get him out of Jail and get Willie Green and Mitchell busted for what they did to him.

However, Dolemite is not stupid – oh, and he has a lot of warriors on his team as well, such as his call girls, who are Karate Experts! Let the ass-kicking begin!

“I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is back on the scene! I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is my name, and fuckin’ up motherfuckers is my game!”

A sequel, “The Human Tornado”, was released in 1976. A second sequel “The Return of Dolemite” was released in 2002 and was later renamed “The Dolemite Explosion” for DVD release.

A quasi-sequel “Shaolin Dolemite” starring Rudy Ray Moore as Monk Ru-Dee was released in 1999.

AS you can see, Rudy Ray Moore tapped into an explosive idea: a character who wasn’t going to let the man keep him down with a foot in his back…some of the best blaxploitation characters were created out of a sense of rage and injustice….

Click below to read more about the blaxploitation genre – including my writeup of the great blaxploitation film EVER:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/04/25/the-mack-sweet-sweetback-blacula-blaxploitation-lives/

Shaft!

Not all of the blaxploitation movies featured characters who were criminals and pimps: the classic film “Shaft” starred Richard Roundtree as a tough NYC Cop who played by his own rules:

More on John Shaft in a second – but at that point in cinema, the huge success of “Shaft” led to a whole slew of action thrillers starring black leading men – and one of the best is this one – with a most unlikely star:

Hit Man!

The plot is a homage to the classic british thriller “Get Carter.” In “Hit Man”, a lawyer takes the law into his own hands as he goes after the men who killed his brother. During the course of his quest for revenge, he must slither through the grimy, underground pornography scene.

“Hit Man” featured two very distinctive elements of “blaxploitation” movies of the time: a HUGE afro, and a fancy hat!

Check out the trailer:

An Unlikely Action Star!

“Hit Man” stars the NFL pro wide receiver Bernie Casey – who played for the San Francisco 49′ers as well as the LA Rams! That’s right, this “Hit Man” was a pro football player, so I guess he knew all about kicking ass! In fact, Casey had an extensive acting career after he finished playing pro ball…

As I said, “Hit Man” is an Americanized version of the British crime thriller “Get Carter” starring Michael Caine. Casey plays a very tough character here – bending the rules and breaking the law to get answers – and nothing will stop him from finding out what happened to his brother…

“Hit Man” features many of the elements of a great blaxploitation film – and also includes many iconic locations around an early 70′s Los Angeles…

Oh, and one other thing to note: “Hit Man” is also well known for featuring the “very nude” Pam Grier!

Hello Pam!

This was early in Pam Grier’s career – she would, of course, go on to star in many blaxploitation films of her own – and I will have a report on that soon – and of course, Quentin Tarantino made a movie just for her – “Jackie Brown.”

But Pam Grier is showing off a lot of her self in “Hit Man.” She has a couple of extended nude scenes in the film, and then is involved in one of the strangest action sequences EVER – which I won’t give away here, but it is certainly unique!

And now, back to the classic – the greatest blaxploitation film ever:

Shaft!

“Who’s the cat that won’t cop out, when there’s danger all about?”

John Shaft of course! This blaxploitation classic is a hard-charging action thriller about Detective John Shaft, played to perfection by Richard Roundtree.

Bumpy Jonas: Wrong number.
John Shaft: Cut the crap, man, this is Shaft.

“You see this cat Shaft is a bad motherf-”
“Watch Your Mouth!”
“But I’m talking about Shaft!”
“Then we can dig it!”

Check out this movie and also buy the soundtrack on iTunes, it’s a classic as well from Isaac Hayes!

Here is that iconic song, and remember, the entire soundtrack is available from iTunes, and it’s a great album of funk, blues and jazz…

Celebrate This Great Genre Of Film!

“Dolemite”, “Shaft” and “Hit Man” are great examples of a classic genre of exploitation film, and you can read more about the genre at this great website:

http://www.blaxploitationpride.org/

RIP Jim Kelly!

And of course, one of Blaxploitation’s best died recently. Click HERE to read all about the legendary Jim Kelly:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/06/30/rip-jim-kelly-bruce-lees-kung-fu-partner-blaxploitation-master/

“Black Samurai” Indeed!

Get Ready For Some Fighting Words!

I love movies. All kinds of movies. I love great ones like “The Godfather”, and I love “Psyched By The 4D Witch” as well – which, if you haven’t seen, proves that at one point in movie history,ANYTHING could be released in a movie theater (more on “4D Witch” in a moment)!

Because I love movies so much, I feel confident when I tell you this:

“Christopher Nolan is the most over-rated Director working in America!”

That sentence should spark one of three things:

1 – a complete lack of knowledge about who Christopher Nolan is. He’s NOT the backup QB for the Colts, for example, or one of Hong Kong’s most well known land developers.

2 – an unstoppable urge to send me a note explaining, with an impressive mix of logic and vitriol, that “you are wrong, Dr. Brewster!”. (extra credit if you immediately noted that snippet of dialogue from the brilliant film “Tootsie.”)

3 – you smile inside, happy that SOMEONE has finally stated what you always thought but were afraid to say: “The Dark Knight Rises” was dour and “un-fun” in every way – and NOBODY could understand what Bane was saying!

And as for “Inception”…while the special effects were beautifully done – the basic idea of the film, about the dangerous art of “extraction”, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable…wasn’t “Inception”, it was INCOMPREHENSIBLE.

Time For A Film Fight Club!

And that is the reason for “FILM FIGHT CLUB.”

A few years ago, my wife Alex and I started a film fight club – a group of us would all be assigned a movie to see, and on Sunday, we’d take over Trilussa restaurant in Beverly Hills for pizza, lots of red wine, and a hearty argument about the merits of the movie. Interestingly, the first film was “Batman Begins.” Talk about your “circle of life!”

http://filmfightclub.com Is Alive!

I want to do the same thing now online – to find a group of passionate film lovers to meet on the “braciole of the web” – it’s the internet as italian restaurant, an electronic Trilussa where people can post interesting, articulate, and perhaps ultimately demeaning comments about movies, and the people who defend them…an open forum for thoughts, opinions and fun…

For example, I think “2001: A Space Odyssey” is a brilliant movie, from a Director who NEVER made a bad film:

Then again, here is how Alex described “2001: A Space Odyssey”:

“Some dumb Astronaut feeding some dumb baby.”

Now THOSE are film fight club words!

We all know that are certain films we love – and hate – regardless of how good they are. Alex doesn’t like science fiction that much – and to be honest – there is MUCH to argue about regarding “2001″.

So Share Your Passion And Opinions!

My goal is to post a story about a movie, or an actor, or a film genre – and ask a couple of questions – hopefully, it will spark some feedback, a new point of view, or perhaps just a series of agreements from all concerned – like when I say that the new “Star Trek” films lack the humanity of the original TV series…

And yes, it appears that Capt. Kirk is about to BOWL…

Film Fight Club Is Easy!

It’s easy to share your opinion about “2001″ – or “Star Trek” – or a multitude of other movies – and read what other people think as well. If you are interested in being part of the discussion, you can sign up to receive all posts from “Film Fight Club”, or you can just continue to see my posts at Johnrieber.com, as all discussions will be available on both…but if you want to sign up, here is the link:

http://filmfightclub.com/

The first post ever on the site is my review of Woody Allen’s “Blue Jasmine” – and what I think has been his degrading portrayal of women in far too many films over the past two decades…please let me know if you agree or disagree…

This is the link to the story:

http://filmfightclub.com/2013/09/06/welcome-to-the-film-fight-club-woody-allens-female-problem/

Back To The Origin Of Man…

Now, about “2001″…is it the story of the origin of man – which happens to be a floating embryo that hovers just beyond the moon? And do you know that there are people who believe that Stanley Kubrick shot the moon footage that was used when the US “faked” the moon landing?

Did you even know there are people who think we faked the moon landing?

A Polarizing Premiere…

The story of “2001: A Space Odyssey” is fascinating for many reasons – did you know at the original premiere screening of the film, 241 people walked out of the theater, including Rock Hudson who said “Will someone tell me what the hell this is about?”

Arthur C. Clarke once said, “If you understand ’2001′ completely, we failed. We wanted to raise far more questions than we answered.” Mission accomplished!

Say Hello Hal!

Did you know that HAL 9000 never once says, “Good Morning, Dave,” despite this line being one of his most recognized quotations?

So my only question for you is this: is “2001: A Space Odyssey” the greatest science fiction film ever made? Or is it as incomprehensible as “Inception?”? Leave a comment and let me know!

And What About “Psyched By The 4D Witch?”

Earlier I mentioned this classic film. Well, it’s not so much a “classic movie” as it is a series of b-roll shots with a poorly written narration laid over it…and shots of this actress…

This movie was actually released in movie theaters…with NO synched sound at all, the worst voiceover narration ever recorded, and random footage strung together to fill time…in fact, it was described by Something Weird Video (who has released it on DVD) as:

“the most maddening, jaw-dropping, mind-bending piece of celluloid lunacy ever to play American theaters!”

It is such a masterwork that it made my list of the “ten most misguided movies ever made!” Click on the link to see why!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/02/08/ten-most-misguided-movies-of-all-time/

Read all about it and imagine the pathetic rube who paid to see it in a movie theater – oh wait, that was ME!

“Nudge Nudge Wink Wink…”

Time to celebrate a very “randy” time for British sex comedies – “confessions” of the 70′s time – because they are coming back, thanks to the digital revolution!

The Brits had a steady stream of comedic sex comedies in the 70′s, including a series that was based on books by Timothy Lea. That’s right, our friends in England grew up with a series of “sex comedies” that were based on all sort of dirty “confessions”!

In the US, the early wave of sexploitation always involved murder and mayhem, along with tons of nudity. For the Brits, their 70′s sexploitation films were comedies!

Check out the classic titles of this string of books!

Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1972)
Confessions of a Driving Instructor (1972)
Confessions of a Traveling Salesman (1973)
Confessions of a Private Dick (1975)
Confessions from a Nudist Colony (1976)
Confessions of a Milkman (1976)

“Nudge Nude Wink Wink, Know What I Mean? Know What I Mean”

The success of these books led to a cult series of “nudge nudge wink wink” sex comedies! Let’s take a look at a few…and then I will explain how modern technology is bringing this vintage series back for a whole new “randy” generation!

Confessions Of A Driving Instructor

As you can imagine, the plots are fairly straightforward: Timothy Lea and his brother-in-law Sidney decide upon opening a driving school as their latest get-rich-quick scheme.

“Hey, Is That A Stick Shift, Or…?”

Cue just about any sexual innuendo you like, because that is what drove these films to success! Though he sincerely wants to teach, young Timmy finds that his female students are far more interested in keeping their eyes on him than on the road! Of COURSE they are!

Check out this vintage trailer:

Plenty Of “Confessions” To Go Around!

The “Confessions” series of novels and films continued throughout the 70′s in Great Britain, and as you can see from the posters, subtlety was NOT the order of the day…

Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1971)

I probably don’t need to tell you what this one was about: the “randy” misadventures of a window washer, of course…and WHAT? There IS a girl taking a shower at the EXACT moment he’s washing!

Say No More, Say No More…

These films made it to the US primarily at drive-ins or grindhouse theaters in the big cities…as I said, the early wave of sexploitation film in the US was much rougher than this…and as you can see, these movies had a real English flavor to them…

Cue lots of sexual innuendo (“shall we try the 69 together?”, says Bellingam before opening a bottle of wine), plenty of Benny Hill style speeded-up shagging, and much full frontal nudity from Timmy’s conquests (although we only get a single boob from Bellingham, whilst Fraser is content to just wear some sexy lingerie).

For fans of un-PC humor, there’s also a tad of working class racism and a touch of homophobia for good measure (“you dirty queer… no wonder they call you Bender” shouts Windsor’s character at his lackey).

Remember, this was the 70′s…this was what passed for “suggestive” british humor…

Cue The “Dolly Birds!”

One movie publication called these films a cinematic time-capsule from the decade of wife-swapping, “dolly birds”, flared jeans, X-certificate movies, and Ford Cortinas, and one that even occasionally manages to be every bit as revealing about British folk as its more serious cinematic counterparts!

And Now, “Confessions” For A New Generation!

Thanks to technology, this vintage bit of “nudge nudge wink wink” humor is coming back! Just announced in the british press: the books are being reissued in England as e-books! Read all about it right here:

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/confessions-of-a-sexfarce-writer-timothy-leas-sexual-misadventures-to-be-published-as-ebooks-8558702.html

I can imagine that these films were VERY specific to an era in Great Britain – when London was the most “swinging” city on earth…in fact, I see a certain movie character who could have been modeled on these films:

This could make the perfect “rainy day” double bill – or add this “unauthorized” spin-off and make it a day of naughty fun!

And remember to order those e-books now!

Deadline.com is reporting that a film is being made “about the unusual relationship between two icons in their respective fields, film critic Roger Ebert and soft core helmer Russ Meyer, as they teamed to make “Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls” at 20th Century Fox!”

“Russ And Roger Go Beyond!”

Here is more of the story from Deadline.com: “Mark Amin’s Sobini Films has partnered with David Permut and Richard Waltzer to acquire Russ & Roger Go Beyond, a script by Emmy-winning Saturday Night Live and The Simpsons scribe Christopher Cluess.”

A Shocking Look At The Sexual Revolution!

The late 60′s were a wild time for Hollywood, and a story about this cult classic will be great! Here is more of Deadline’s story:

“The script focus is the late 1960s, when cheap counterculture films like Easy Rider were minting money, and 20th Century Fox was struggling mightily over a number of big-budget flops. Meyer was already established as the outlaw helmer of soft-core pulp films like Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill, and he wanted the legitimacy of making a studio film. Richard Zanuck, then head of 20th, gave him that opportunity because his profit margins were so high and his costs were miniscule.”

How Meyer Met Ebert!

“Meyer agreed to take on Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls on the condition that the script get written by Ebert, who, as the third-string movie critic of the Chicago Sun Times, had written one of the few positive reviews Meyer had ever received.”

More from Deadline.com: “So obviously he liked Roger’s writing. It was all fun from there, as Meyer brought in his usual buxom brigade and he and Ebert struggled with the studio’s board of directors and the ratings board. Despite being the rare major studio release with an X rating, they were vindicated when Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls was released in 1970 to big box office. Meyer and Ebert remained friends until the former passed away in 2004.”

This is exciting news! Movies about Hollywood’s past are always fascinating…especially when it involves America’s most famous movie critic!

You can get the entire story, plus all of your daily Hollywood fix, by going to Deadline’s website at:

http://www.deadline.com/hollywood/

And now, more about Ebert and the film:

Meyer Meets Ebert!

As Roger Ebert became more and more famous as a film critic and historian, many people forgot – or never knew – that he collaborated with one of film’s most scandalous Directors! First, a bit about my encounter with Ebert:

Roger Ebert At The Cannes Film Festival!

I was lucky enough to interview Roger many times for E!’s Cannes Film Festival specials, and he was always engaging, funny and self-deprecating. And he always LOVED movies – all kinds of movies!

One year, he gave me a great anecdote about Cannes: how the world’s greatest cinema was screened every night at the Grand Lumiere – the festival’s most prestigious theater:

And while those great films were being screened upstairs, downstairs in the basement of the Palais, where the film market was held, he came across a guy who was selling films BY THE POUND

Ebert wrote what is still my favorite book about Cannes:

Two Weeks In The Midday Sun

This is a gem of a book: Film Critic Roger Ebert documented his two weeks at the Cannes Film Festival – one of the most entertaining and chaotic things I ever had the pleasure of attending…

Here is what Amazon says: “Ebert’s journal of the annual two-week movie circus known as the Cannes Film Festival is about as nourishing as a croissant, but like that airy pastry, it’s fun to devour. The book is full of movies; gossip; characters with strange lifestyles, some of them actors, others more prosaically rich; and egos running amok at the 1987 festival (the 40th).”

Ebert was a signature presence at the festival, always at the press conferences, given special seating and the best credential you could have: the legendary white badge…

But one of the most unique aspects of Ebert’s career was his work with Russ Meyer!

Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls – 1970.

Yes, Roger Ebert wrote Russ Meyer’s scandalous sequel to “Valley Of The Dolls!” This is, without a doubt, one of the most unique collaborations in film history!

Here is the plot of “Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls”:

When three female rock’n'rollers travel to Hollywood to claim an inheritance, they meet up with a kinky music promoter who turns them on to a whole new scene. At first, all seems very exciting and the naïve trio becomes submerged in his dangerous tinseltown underworld-before they discover his true motives.

Yes, this is the legendary sequel to – and satire of “Valley Of The Dolls”, scripted by Roger Ebert! And it was X-rated when it was released! The DVD special edition calls it “A rock ‘n’ roll extravaganza of ample proportions!

What a classic idea – take a hit movie “Valley Of The Dolls”, and turn the sequel over to the legendary exploitation king! You can hear Ebert on the DVD’s numerous extra features!

Commentary by screenwriter and film critic Roger Ebert
Commentary by cast members Dolly Read, Cynthia Myers, Harrison Page, John La Zar and Erica Gavin
“Above, Beneath and Beyond the Valley: The Making of a Musical-Horror-Sex-Comedy” documentary
“Look on up at the Bottom: The Music of Dolls” featurette
“The Best of Beyond” featurette
“Sex, Drugs, Music and Murder: Signs of the Times, Baby!” featurette
“Casey and Roxanne: The Love Scene” featurette
Actor screen tests

This special edition DVD is an amazing collection of stuff, but it really makes me eager for a movie version of how the film was made!

This announcement about "Russ And Roger Go Beyond" was just made, so we will see how soon it gets underway, and who will be cast to play Russ Meyer and Roger Ebert…should be fascinating for film buffs!

Celebrate The Best Of Russ Meyer!

I wrote about ALL of Russ Meyer’s classic films, including “Super Vixen” and of course “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!”

This guy was an amazing, inventive film maker – and yes, he was the softcore king of the 70′s as well…with some wild wild wild movies!

These movies were grindhouse and drive-in theater classics, and you can read all about them by just clicking on the story!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/03/16/sexploitation-classics-the-russ-meyer-edition/

And can’t wait to see this new film that celebrates this unique film collaboration between Ebert and Meyer!

Talk about an intense look!

This is the month to celebrate horror films – the classics as well as the obscure…so, for those of you eager to try new things, here’s one for 70′s horror buffs to enjoy, with some amazing extras as well…

A Banned Classic Returns!

Kudos to the folks at Severin Films…they are on a mission to rescue neglected exploitation films of the 70′s & 80′s, and they’ve done a fantastic job with this one! In addition, they have included, for a short time only, a really terrific documentary as well! More on that in a moment, but for now, time to head up “Straw Hill.”

Here’s how Severin describes their new release: “Banned in Britain for thirty years, ‘The House on Straw Hill’ is a shockingly violent and erotic tale of seduction, brutality and revenge!”

Cult movie icon Udo Kier stars as a successful novelist suffering from writer’s block, who rents a country cottage in the hope of finding inspiration.

But the arrival of a sensual secretary, played by Linda Hayden (Blood on Satan’s Claw, Taste the Blood of Dracula) sets in motion of chain of events that culminate in an unrestrained explosion of sex and savagery.

Severin notes that “House On Straw Hill” was condemned as a Video Nasty in the UK, but is now fully restored from the only uncut elements and is available for the first time in the US with brand new extras!

“Video Nasties!”

The term “video nasty” is well known to movie fans in England. The government would routinely demand cuts to a film or they would ban it outright, and when horror films began showing up on video in the early 80′s, so-called “video nasties” were banned outright.

Severin’s great blu-ray release of “The House On Straw Hill” includes commentary tracks, trailers and a terrific – and surprising – addition as well!

Honestly, Linda!

One of my favorite parts of this release is the nice 15-minute interview with Linda Hayden, in which she discusses several of her memorable movies…and then she says the only film she wishes she had never done was this one!

It was interesting to see some of the other films she made, and the well known stars she worked with, like Christopher Lee, David Niven and Vincent Price.

After this upbeat talk, it comes as a big surprise when Linda trashes “The House On Straw Hill”! But she comes across honest and articulate, and it’s a very interesting conversation. Using the entire interview, including the negative comments about “Straw Hill” was a brave inclusion from the Severin team!

Now, Time For A “Video Nasty!”

The other terrific addition to the blu-ray, for a limited time only, is a two-part documentary about the era of “video nasties” in the UK. Here is how Severin describes it:

The 80s video boom has become a time of sweet nostalgia for movie fans of a certain age but in the UK it was also a time of moral panic perpetuated by ill-informed politicians and a sensationalist media.

‘The Video Nasties’ witch hunts which led to Britain becoming the most highly censored nation in the western world targeted distributors, store owners and a list of horror movies which were prosecuted as obscene and subsequently banned.

David (PLAGUE TOWN, THEATRE BIZARRE) Gregory’s two part documentary from 2006 tells the full shocking story and will receive its first official US release as a Limited Edition bonus DVD in the first 3,000 units of Severin Films’ upcoming release of HOUSE ON STRAW HILL. HOUSE…, known in the UK as EXPOSE, was one of the final 39 condemned Video Nasties and remains banned in its uncut form in the UK to this day.

Congrats to Severin for including this full length documentary! Make sure you buy it now to get yours!

Many outlets in the UK show these banned videos as part of their midnight screenings! Let me know which if your favorite!

Welcome To Seattle!

I grew up in Seattle – which is a beautiful city full of nice people…and yes, it rains a lot, but that’s not the point here:

Behold Seattle’s Northgate Theater!

When I was growing up in Seattle’s north end, there was a single screen movie theater attached to Northgate mall. The Northgate Theater was my home away from home…

The Northgate Theater showed first run films for years, until a renovation of the mall spelled the end to this great movie theater…

One reason I love the internet is that you can find stuff you think is long lost…for example, here is one of the many ads for the theater:

Our Moviegoing Life!

We’ve all had great times at the movies. Here is a wonderful, well behaved youngster enjoying a film…

And then…there was US at the Northgate Theater:

Midnight Madness!

Yes, I went to many movies at the Northgate theater, but it was always chaos when my friends and I headed there for one of their wild midnight movie marathons:

These vintage newspaper ad always promised lots of bloody fun…but rally, the theater was just turning over its auditorium to a lot of young, drunk kids…who would pay to see ANYTHING at that hour of the night…and how do I know? I was there almost every week!

This is an homage to those great nights, when we took over the theater and embraced our youth!

All day long, the theater showed some of the biggest hits of the day, like this one:

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry…”

And then at midnight, we’d take over to see movies that were made to appeal to teenage boys! I mean, look at the ad for this film that offers a funny take on the “Love Story” ad – because it was a decidedly NON-Love Story!

“Love means never having to say you’re ugly.”

The Abominable Dr. Phibes!

Look at these various ads:

And It’s Rated GP!

OK, these campy ads are for the classic horror film starring Vincent Price called “The Abominable Dr. Phibes”…here is the trailer:

Doctors are being murdered in a bizarre manner: bats, bees, killer frog masks, etc., which represent the nine Biblical plagues.

The crimes are orchestrated by a demented organ player with the help of his mute assistant. The detective is stumped until he finds that all of the doctors being killed assisted a Dr. Vesalius on an unsuccessful operation involving the wife of Dr. Phibes, but he couldn’t be the culprit, could he? He was killed in a car crash upon learning of his wife’s death…

This is a camp classic! Vincent Price chews up the scenery, while veteran Actor Joseph Cotton no doubt wishes he could hide on this movie poster!

Great Trivia Thanks To IMDB!

Joseph Cotten would grumble on the set that he had to remember and deliver lines, while Vincent Price’s were all to be post-dubbed. Price responded, “Yes, but I still know them, Joe.” In fact, Price was well-known in Hollywood for his ability to memorize all of the characters’ lines in a given production, not just his own.

At the end of the day, “The Abominable Dr. Phibes” was a big hit and ushered in many more Vincent Price films, like “Dr. Phibes Rises Again” and “Theater Of Blood!”

Great New DVD Set!

Just released on October 22 is a great, 6-film DVD collection of great Vincent Price films, including Dr. Phibes!

You can read all about this collection, which really is terrific, by clicking here!

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00DOZNI8Y/dvdtalk

Johnny Depp IS Dr. Phibes!

And news just broke that Johnny Depp and Director Tim Burton are teaming up again – this time to remake “Dr. Phibes!”

So, let’s see if Johnny Depp ends up putting on the Dr. Phibes makeup and turns out looking like THIS!

Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

“Girl Gangs Assaulting And Killing FOR KICKS!”

That got your attention, didn’t it? And if not, this classic sexploitation poster will do the trick!

Black-Tight Killers!

Never heard of it? I hadn’t either, until I found a book that decided to take me on a wild and crazy ride through some of the film industry’s most notorious “sexploitation” posters EVER! Need proof?

Chelsea Girls – WHAT THE – ?!?!?!?

Welcome To The Wild World Of “Chelsea Girls!”

I had never heard of this movie, but this eye-opening poster certainly caught my eye. It’s just one of a series of provocative, controversial movie posters that helped define a genre of film!

Thanks again to the crazy book sellers at Taschen, who created a large photo book called “Film Posters – Exploitation”, which puts a wide array of exploitation movie posters into one great place!

The posters for these films, from Alberto Vargas’ artwork for “Ladies They Talk About” (1933) to Alan Aldridge’s photomontage for Warhol’s “Chelsea Girls” (1966), are masterpieces of visual innuendo, offering, in most cases, far more that the movies actually delivered.

“Chelsea Girls” may be a controversial movie poster, but the film itself was an Andy Warhol art project – very experimental, barely released to the moviegoing public – and the poster is in keeping with the shocking, experimental and psychodelic nature of the film itself…

As for the film, here is what IMDB says: “Lacking a formal narrative, Warhol’s art house classic follows various residents of the Chelsea Hotel in 1966 New York City, presented in a split screen with a single audio track in conjunction with one side of screen.”

Made history by becoming the first “underground” film to be shown in a mainstream cinema. In a limited run at New York’s Cinema Rendezvous from December 1st 1966.

And as you can see, that is ONE provocative poster! If you look at movie posters, you will see quite a history of controversial work…

“Why Do So Many Rich Girls Go Wrong?”

It’s a question that movies have asked for decades…

Here is a web site that celebrates these iconic portraits in depravity:

http://www.exploitationposterart.com/

I Am Curious (Yellow)

And this is a perfect example of a subtle, almost “innocent” poster that ushered in a new era in european artsploitation:

“I Am Curious (Yellow)” helped break through censorship laws across the country and usher in a whole new era of movie!

And Let’s Not Forget Christina Lindberg!

Sometimes the best part of a movie is how they sell it – I mean, look at how they sold young European starlet Christina Lindberg to America – here are three of her most provocative posters – “Maid In Sweden”, “Sinner” and “Wide Open”!

And these movies all deliver of what you expect – lots of arty sex, violence and nudity! And isn’t that what you want?

If you want to see the most famous “artsploitation” star of all time, here’s more on Christina Lindberg, the “Queen Of Artsploitation!”

http://johnrieber.com/2012/05/21/swedish-sex-kitten-christina-lindberg-the-original-queen-of-artsploitation/

Let me know what you think!

“You will be doomed, you will destroy yourself at your own hand!”

OK, calm down everyone, there’s a Hippie holding court! Time to celebrate some of the wildest movies to be unearthed for our enjoyment!

How can you refuse a movie that promises this:

“Machine gun-wielding Mimes, Robots, Bloodthirsty Sharks, and Free-Loving Debauchery!”

Yes indeed! Bring the hippies on!

An American Hippie In Israel!

Talk about an obscure classic! Grindhouse Releasing has done an amazing job rescuing this film from obscurity!

Here’s the plot: “Incited by a disillusioned young man who has decided to flee from civilization, a group of four people go searching for freedom and happiness on an isolated island . When their boat goes astray and they are left without food, their animal instincts take over!”

Check out the trailer:

I Need A Hippie NOW!

This movie is everything I love about obscure cult cinema. How can you go wrong with dialogue like this:

Hippie: “Man, how does it feel to be free at last?”

American Hippie Mike: “Man, I feel really turned on.”

Turned on, indeed!

These hippies love to turn on and then get it on! And then, of course, one of them has a bad trip and has to start pointing fingers…

This Hippie Is LOADED!

This new blu-ray comes with a bonus DVD of the original, uncensored Director’s cut of the film, called “The Hitchhiker” – plus new interviews, deleted scenes, and tons of other bonus features!

According to the review on the terrific website “Mondo Digial”, there is a “four-minute “A Cult Is Born” segment that interviews young Israeli fans at a cinematheque screening, enthusing about their multiple viewings and calling it “love at first sight” with “a strong Kubrick influence.” Apparently they really, really love dancing onstage, strapping on horned hats, and doing improvised songs while the film is playing, too.If Rocky Horror can inspire such dedication, why not this one, too?An Israeli “Channel 10″ segment also devotes ten minutes to the film’s burgeoning midnight movie cult.”

Thanks to Mondo Digital for fleshing out the great extras!

But that’s just the beginning of this mind-blowing mayhem! Grindhouse Releasing also has this gem:

Cat In The Brain!

A horror film director is stalked by a mad psychiatrist/serial killer bent on killing people to model the killings after the director’s gory death scenes from his movies. Many events in the film are based on Lucio Fulci’s experiences as a filmmaker! Check out the trailer:

Here is some trivia for you:

The original script was 49 pages long and contained no dialogue. It consisted of descriptions of bodily mutilations/imagery and sound effects that would compliment them on screen! Fulci was literally sharing his favorite death scenes from his films!

Juxtaposing gory horror clips from several of his own past horror films which he either directed and/or produced, Lucio Fulci shot a wrap-around segment featuring his own plot and used Vincenzo Tomassi’s film editing (as well as his own voice over) to create the storyline – a personal insight into the effects of horror filmmaking on the psyche.

It’s a fascinating exercise by a Director who is one of the greatest in the genre of Italian Giallo…

I’ve written about other classic Lucio Fulci films as well, in the vein of the iconic “Italian Giallo” style – it’s Italy’s version of “pulp fiction”, with lurid books in yellow jackets…it’s a fascinating movie genre, so check them out here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/10/09/halloween-giallo-masters-agentos-animal-trilogy-fulcis-tortured-ducklings-italian-pulp-fiction/

And of course, check out ALL of Grindhouse Releasing’s classic cult films by going to their website – kudos!

http://www.grindhousereleasing.com/

Time For A Very “Tromatic” Holiday!

Why not bring this guy home for the holiday? Or this guy!

Yes, New Jersey;s first and only super hero is on sale for the holiday! That’s right – to celebrate the tromatic holidays, Troma is offering 50% off all orders from Troma.com before Christmas!

And it’s time to “Return To Nuke ‘em High”!

So much Troma news to share – and so much great cult stuff to buy for your exploitation movie fan…let’s get started by honoring the master himself:

Behold Master Filmmaker Lloyd Kaufman!

I’ve known Lloyd Kaufman for many years. He went to Yale. He is proud of that fact. He is also proud of the fact that he runs the longest-lasting independent film studio in the world. He believes in freedom of speech, art above all else, and lots and lots of blood and nudity. He rejected Madonna after an audition, and still doesn’t know whatever happened to her.

I’ve got a look at the best of Troma for this holiday season, beginning with the new “Tromasterpiece”:

Return To Class of Nuke ‘em High!

Here is the official trailer – :

WARNING! FULL FRONTAL NUDITY IN THIS TEASER – VERY VERY NSFW – OR EVEN YOUR OWN EYES!

Well, hard to argue about this one…it’s pure Troma in spirit and execution – and of course green foam and blood….

“Return To Nuke ‘em High Part 1″ is screening across America right now…Lloyd is attending many of these events, including in Chicago right now…

Keep your eyes open for more “Return” screening news, but if you head to Troma.com, you can see the hundreds of films they have in their library – and you can order a ton of Troma classics for holiday gifts at 50% savings! Here are some of the best!

The Toxic Avenger: The Japanese Cut!

Wait – MORE Toxie?!?!?!

That’s right! Troma Entertainment just released the Japanese cut of “The Toxic Avenger”!

This Toxie is longer than the U.S. director’s cut and includes an additional four minutes of footage starring our fearless mutated friend. It also includes trailers from the Toxic Avenger franchise, production stills, an intro by Lloyd Kaufman and “Tromatic extras,” which can only mean more glorious schlock!

Why stop there? Just get the whole “TOX BOX” and be done with it! That’s right, just buy a whole “Box of tox” and get ALL of the “Toxic Avenger” films, with tons of extras!

I first met Lloyd at the Cannes Film Festival, where his Troma team annually wrecked havoc on the world’s most glamorous film festival, all to create awareness for Troma Films.

This is me surrounded by Sgt. Kabukiman and Tiffany Shepis. The other Troma guy is forgotten to time, but i’m sure a fan will remind me…no disrespect intended. If you ever wondered what it would be like to go to the south of France with Lloyd, just keep reading and you will see.

I have always admired the tenacity of Lloyd Kaufman’s vision. And I have admired how he has created a dedicated fan base that loves Troma, worships Lloyd, and believes in independent art above all else. He has mentored many who have moved on to great careers in entertainment; some of their work is on this list.

“Make Your Own Damn Movie!

Lloyd has also published a series of best-selling books about filmmaking, including this one: “All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned From The Toxic Avenger.” It was written with the great James Gunn.

OK, here is a classic shot of a younger James Gunn in Cannes with Troma! Gunn graduated from Troma and has gone on be a great Writer/Director on such films as “Slither” and “Super”, and is now directing the big budget “Guardians Of The Galaxy”:

The “Guardians” cast includes Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Michael Rooker, Djimon Hounsou, Benicio del Toro, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close and Bradley Cooper!

“Make Your Own Damn Movie!”

Lloyd has continued writing about filmmaking, from producing to directing… buy the box set of documentaries all about the filmmaking process….

Lloyd proves it: don’t claim you want to make a movie, MAKE A MOVIE! He shows you how with a ton of great insight from Writers and Directors such as John G. Avildsen, the Director of “Rocky” – and George Romero, Director of all of the “Night Of The Living Dead” films. James Gunn is on here as are Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Eli Roth and Stan Lee. It’s a treasure trove of great information, the best “how to make a movie” series ever done…

THE TROMATIC CLASSICS UNVEILED!

Class Of Nuke ‘Em High! 1986. By 1986, it seems that Lloyd had latched onto a great idea: crazy “over the top” movie titles, and lots of crazy actors acting crazy, tearing off limbs, and going topless, all with a punk rock soundtrack.

The pupils at a high school next to a nuclear power plant start acting and looking strange after buying contaminated drugs from a plant worker. That’s it, a simple plot upon which to hang anarchy in all its forms.

“Reading, Writing and Radiation”!

“Class Of Nuke ‘em High” is a great way to start dipping into the Troma library. And, if you want to jump right into the deep end of the Troma pool, there is this:

Troma’s WAR. 1988. This is Troma’s masterpiece. Don’t take my word for it, look at the description on the Troma website!

TROMA’S WAR is Troma’s masterpiece. Directed by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz, TROMA’S WAR is packed with gargantuan battle scenes, heart stopping stunts, and never-before-seen special effects. TROMA’S WAR is the action film that all good citizens of the world can be proud of and enjoy! TROMA’S WAR is Troma’s answer to PLATOON and APOCALYPSE NOW. It is the first war picture that combines satire, sex, special effects make-up, stunts, gore and a beautiful love story.

Lloyd LOVES this movie. He has told me so. And I believe him. It is terrific…From IMDB: “A small group of typical Tromaville citizens find themselves in the path of a terrorist army controlled by the power elite. The freedom of Tromaville and the world is at stake! Troma’s War creates new kinds of heroes. A used car salesman, a handsome environmentalist, an obese junk-food gourmand, a seventy-year-old housewife, some sensational young women, a year old jingoistic baby and more sensational women all become deadly soldiers… “

Go to WAR and make Lloyd happy!

Surf Nazis Must Die! 1987. When the grandson of a gun wielding woman is murdered by Neo-Nazi surf punks in the post-apocalyptic future, this grandma hunts them down for some bloodthirsty revenge.

Here is how Amazon describes this movie: In the near future, a Californian beach has been taken over by a ruthless gang called “The Surf Nazis” whom are modern day Neo-Nazis and their leader nicknamed Adolph who literally can surf and would hurt anyone who enters their territory or gets in their way. When an African-American fellow named Leroy gets murdered by them, his mother sets off to buy weapons as she plots to take revenge for her son’s death.

This is basically Troma’s version of “Beach Blanket Bingo”, and all the better for it! This is also an example of the wealth of material that Troma includes on their DVD’s. Look at what is added to this release:

Introduction by Lloyd Kaufman
The first ever interactive tour of Troma Studios
Troma intelligence test
Gnarly observations by director Peter George and producer Robert Tinnell
Trailers for other Troma movies
Lost Scenes of Surf Mayhem
Scenes from the “Tromaville Cafe” TV show
Link to the Troma Website
Very special private Troma Public Service Announcements
The Aroma du Troma

Another reason to love Troma – they have mastered the art of “loaded up” DVD extras…

Stuck On You! 1983. Greetings from Tromaville! Before he latched on a great blend of outrageous titles and sex-n-violence, Troma was into sex comedies: low budget movies that were what I call “good clean naughty fun!”

A couple are in a legal battle over palimony, and a judge/angel Gabriel (Professor Irwin Corey) helps them resolve their problems by taking them through a tour of historical disfunctional couples.

Fans should also seek out Lloyd Kaufman’s “The First Turn-On” and “Squeeze Play!” as other examples of this era of Troma film.

Here is what an Amazon viewer says: “I was shocked to find this movie was released on DVD. Seriously, I don’t know how this movie is not more well known. I die every time I watch it. I’d rank it up there with Animal House and Fast Times. It’s hard to believe it even came out on Troma when you compare it to the other movies they’ve made.”

All The Love You Cannes! 2002. Full disclosure: I am in this movie. I am. It might be a single b-roll shot while Lloyd mentions me in passing – and my name is spelled wrong – but hey, I’m a Troma star!

Here we all are in Cannes one year: E! News Host Steve Kmetko, who allowed my wife Alex, along with James Gunn, turn him into “Dolphinman” for “Sex On The Riviera”. Lloyd is on the left, by the way…

Every year I was in Cannes, Lloyd and his Troma team were up for any shenanigans…and their tireless energy is captured in Lloyd’s documentary about life at the Cannes film festival. If you want to see the best documentary about the pomp, circumstance, and sordid underbelly that is Cannes, this is the movie for you!

The Troma Team is willing to try every stunt imaginable to get a little publicity, including walking the streets of Cannes dressed as various Troma heroes, staging lesbian make-out sessions, hilariously crashing Jean-Claude Van Damme’s “press conference,” where JCVD shows up for about 2 seconds.

Troma Star Tiffany Shepis was there many years, and I was lucky enough to shoot a ton of segments with her and Troma when I was at E! – and Lloyd and his group were always eager to help us out. I love this documentary, especially when Lloyd harasses the Warner Brothers Exec’s dog…priceless!

Oh, Lloyd will say that I’m the reason Troma was thrown out of the carlton Hotel…he might be right, but it didn’t take much for Lloyd to start flinging blood around, trust me.

Terror Firmer. – “A homicidal maniac is on the loose in the city and the low budget film crew on a Troma movie have the power to stop them!”

“Terror Firmer” is Lloyd’s “8-1/2″ or “Day For Night” – his “movie within a movie”, a chance to show the filmmaking process while still delivering Troma-sized thrills.

Lloyd Kaufman plays Larry Benjamin, a blind movie Director who just wants to complete his film. Yes, this is the plot of Woody Allen’s “Hollywood Ending”, except Lloyd’s movie came out years earlier.

“Now, let’s make some art!”

No special effect here, just a naked Troma employee racing through Times Square. “Let’s Make Some Art, Indeed!”

Yes, once again, this DVD is LOADED with extras, including a full-length “no holds barred” documentary that looks deep within the filmmaking process…as fascinating and fun as the film itself! These documentaries are as honest and indepth as any ever released on DVD – and entire additional movie added to the DVD – what a deal…

And of course, Joe Lynch has a role in the film…Joe went on to write and direct “Wrong Turn 2″, wrote and directed a sequence of “Chillerama”. Lynch’s next feature is the unique action/thriller EVERLY, with Salma Hayek in the title role.

A few years ago at Comic-Con, I took part in a roast of Lloyd Kaufman, and Joe Lynch told a story about how he used to appear as “The Toxic Avenger” at conventions…and once was so sick during an appearance that he vomited into the mask he was wearing. The story got a big laugh.

Without missing a beat, Lloyd got up and told the crowd that, “what Joe didn’t tell you, was that he took the vomit that was in the mask and turned it into the screenplay for “Wrong Turn 2.”

And that is why we love Lloyd.

Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead!. 2006.

When the American Chicken Bunker, a military-themed fried-chicken chain, builds a restaurant on the site of an ancient Indian burial ground, local protesters aren’t the only ones crying fowl! The previous tenants, fueled by a supernatural force, take “possession” of the food and those who eat it, and the survivors discover that they must band together before they themselves become the other white meat!

People take Troma films for granted: they assume that critics must hate them, but that’s not true: The New York Times routinely gives Traoma’s new films great reviews, because they get what Troma stands for…for example, here is what they said about “Poultrygeist”:

“IT IS JUST ABOUT AS PERFECT AS A FILM PREDICATED ON THE JOYS OF PROJECTILE VOMITING AND EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA CAN BE!”

It is also a DVD loaded with extras: “Poultry In Motion”, the full-length documentary about the making of the film; audio commentary from Lloyd and Co-Screenwriter Gabe Friedman; a “happy ending” with Ron Jeremy, a short course on moviemaking, music videos and deleted scenes…

Gabe worked with Lloyd for a long time before he headed out to Hollywood and worked on a number of G4 shows – another Troma alumni doing great!

THE TOXIC AVENGER QUADRILOGY! Forget Alien: THIS is the Quadrilogy you need to own! Lloyd created New Jersey’s first Superhero, and 4 films into the story, it just keeps getting better…

Here is the IMDB summary of “The Toxic Avenger”: “This is the story of Melvin, the Tromaville Health Club mop boy, who inadvertently and naively trusts the hedonistic, contemptuous and vain health club members, to the point of accidentally ending up in a vat of toxic waste. The devastating results then have a transmogrification effect, his alter ego is released, and the Toxic Avenger is born, to deadly and comical results.”

“Citizen Toxie” is the fourth in the series, and included “Hank The Angry Drunk Dwarf” as GOD – but of course it did. The DVD also includes a full-length documentary on the making of the movie, and a ton of deleted scenes.

Tromeo & Juliet. Behold the most Tromatic masterpiece of all. This was written by James Gunn, Directed by Lloyd, and truly stands as a masterwork. As Variety said, “Shakespeare is transformed into a NO-HOLDS BARD!”

As the poster says so beautifully:

“BODY PIERCING. KINKY SEX. DISMEMBERMENT. THE THINGS THAT MADE SHAKESPEARE GREAT!”

When I was in Cannes, my wife Alex was interviewing Kennth Branagh for his 4-hour opus “Hamlet.” She told him he wasn’t the only Shakespeare film in Cannes, and showed him the “Tromeo & Juliet” poster. He read the words above in his classic British accent, then added, “perhaps I can get my soundtrack done by the ASS PONYS!”

I put that entire sequence in that year’s “Sex On The Riviera” special, told Lloyd about it, and wasn’t too surprised when, 6 months later I got the latest Troma press kit, which included the Kenneth Branagh interview! God bless Lloyd!

Juliet Capulet: Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Tromeo Que: Yeah, it totally sucks.

How can you not love a film that turns Shakepeare upside down in one of the most hilarious, proifane – and creative ways EVER!

Detective Ernie Scalus: Now you fucks have gone too far! Goddamn heads landing on cars while Long Island families are singing ‘Found a Peanut’! They found a peanut, all right, honey. They found a peanut of death!

Bravo, Lloyd and James, BRAVO! Now head to Troma.com and buy up all of these cult classics for the holidays!

Is It Time To Take A Hammer To Movie Remakes?

This edition of “film Fight Club” wants to smackdown the endless series of BAD BAD BAD remakes that have stunk up the cinema lately – including THESE bombs:

Wha-Wha-WHAT!??!????

Sorry, that last picture of Nicolas Cage destroying “The Wicker Man” is too much for any movie lover to stomach…well, until THIS:

Samuel L. Jackson has every reason to look terrified – its the latest remake disaster! One of the biggest bombs of 2013 was the Spike Lee remake of the classic Korean thriller “Oldboy”…

The film opened Thanksgiving weekend and bombed horribly – but was the remake’s critical and commercial trashing deserved? Is “Oldboy” just another example of Hollywood’s desire to trash every great movie by remaking it wrong?

Time For The Film Fight Club!

Let’s look at Hollywood’s latest remake disaster and see what’s worth fighting about. First, here is a quick look at the original Korean classic “Oldboy.”

Oldboy -

This is the classic 2003 Korean thriller directed by Chan-wook Park – with one of the most intense first ten minutes of any film ever made! It begins with a man who goes on a drunken bender one night, only to wake up trapped in a hotel room. For 15 years!

The opening ten minutes of this movie will suck your eyeballs out, so put them back in and enjoy Korean melodrama at its finest. Director Chan-wook Park is a brilliant filmmaker – his is the kind of aggressive, no holds barred filmmaking that many of our American movies lack right now.

The original “Oldboy” has a number of jaw-dropping moments, but perhaps the most notable is the fight scene that involves….well, let just say this: You’ll never walk down a hallway with a ball-peen hammer the same way again…

The movie gets more and more intense, and the bodies pile up until we find out why he was imprisoned, in a shocking finale…

This is brilliant, melodramatic filmmaking of the highest order – a classic action film.

Cue Spike Lee to remake it.

As a huge fan of the original film, I did everything I could to judge Spike Lee’s version on its own merits. The plot is, essentially the same. Josh Brolin stars as a drunken businessman who wakes up after a night of boozing to find himself imprisoned in a hotel room.

“15 Will Get You 20!”

Well, it takes all of five minutes for this movie to turn sour. A longer prologue shows us just what an awful person Brolin is – but did Spike need to do this? It’s just the first of many artistic decisions that not only derail the film for fans of the original, but simply confuse and alienate any viewer trying to enjoy the film…

The story let’s us know that twenty years have gone by, not fifteen years. Why the change? No reason. Strange changes in the story serve to call attention to the film’s inability to entertain like the original.

What The F!??!?!?!

Look at Samuel L. Jackson. LOOK AT HIM. What is going on here? Oh, and more importantly, WHY? Watch both versions of the film and you will be stunned at Lee’s choice to create Jackson’s character and storyline.

A bit of a spoiler here: Spike Lee has chosen to create some sort of “prison hotel” company, run by Jackson…why? Because apparently we need this type of explanation – but since it is never explained, it’s just a contrivance designed to distract us…

In addition, the Director has made some choices that didn’t work for me at all. In “Annie Hall”, having Woody Allen and Tony Roberts watch flashbacks as they were remembered worked; here, to see Josh Brolin watching the action around him from years earlier was just strange and very distracting…

Bring Down The Hammer!

Yes, the most legendary scene from the original “Oldboy” needed to be “improved” as well…

In this remake, the fight now moves across multiple floors of a parking garage…and the dozen or so men with weapons all bounce around and WAIT FOR THEIR ONE-ON-ONE CHANCE TO KILL BROLIN!

It’s almost laughable – he is surrounded by thugs, who all wait patiently – while bouncing around – while he kills them one by one. It was sad to watch, actually….

Cue The Octopus!

And what about this scene?

In the original, we see an octopus eaten live…in the remake, in one more example of acknowledging the original in the least interesting way possible, Brolin enters a restaurant and sees this:

At this point, I let the unpleasantness of the film just wash over me – a laughable villian, endless flashbacks with Brolin watching in the scene, Elizabeth Olsen being exploited in a number of pathetic ways, and then the ending, with the antagonist explaining everything before the movie ends with a “twist.”

Hammer Time!

I tried to judge “Oldboy” impartially – I like many Spike Lee films, and was open to a remake. Yes, I missed the originality of the original “Oldboy”. I missed the deranged intensity of this hammer shot. But it’s more than that…

The biggest danger, to me, is to acknowledge the original when you remake it. I hated the various “homages” put in the remake that lacked any creativity – in fact, they distract – and if you didn’t see the original, they make NO sense – most of all, I hated that “Oldboy” was turned into an unpleasant viewing experience – the shock of the original was emotional and riveting – in the remake, it was simply distasteful…

Let The “Film Fight Club” Begin!

So, I want to know: am I unwilling to accept remakes – unwilling to let new Artists re-imagine films for a new generation? Or does this:

Just become THIS in all the worst ways:

http://filmfightclub.com/

Hey, if you like to debate movies, head over to the “filmfightclub” website for stories on horror films, James Bond theme songs and more!

And please, let me know what you think: are these films being remade, or are they being destroyed? Leave a comment at “filmfightclub.com” and let the fight club begin!

You want to surprise your film buff this holiday season?

Here’s a sure way to make a loved one smile…

Talk about a happy holiday! Sure, you can buy Oscar-winning films, acclaimed documentaries, and “Breaking Bad” box sets – OR you can go a different direction…

Remember what they said: to each his own – and let’s be honest, it’s virtually ALL “his own” when it comes to this type of film – that said, I have gotten a lot of interest from female fans of exploitation films as well – especially movies like this:

Behold Japan’s “Machine Girl!” Trust me when I tell you she has revenge on her mind – a a HUGE machine gun attached to her arm! This new genre of “J-sploitation” is a great holiday gift, as well as some of these more aggressively outrageous films in the exploitation genre, like:

It’s An “Exploitation” Holiday!

If you want to give your film fanatic a thrill this holiday season, I’ve got just the gifts for you! Time to look at ten of the wildest “sexploitation” classics you can buy this holiday for the film buff in your life! I will share some, shall we say, “obscure” titles…

And I will share some that are among the most legendary films ever committed to celluloid – and are just plain, well – WRONG:

They are ALL fascinating examples of a bygone era of movie making – and thanks to some great independent film companies, you can enjoy them now as well!

“Sexploitation” Lives!

If you are new to the genre, “Sexploitation” describes a class of low-budget film generally associated with the 1960s and 70′s and serving largely, as wikipedia describes:

“A vehicle for the exhibition of non-explicit sexual situations and gratuitous nudity.”

Can’t argue with that! And if you do, you can expect to get roughed up a bit:

This is the classic sexploitation film “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” And there are a number of legendary sexploitation stars as well…like Christina Lindberg!

“The Godfather” Of Grindhouse!

Let’s get started with your shopping list – the ten wildest sexploitation movies ever, beginning with “The Godfather” of the genre, starring Christina Lindberg of course!

#10 – Thriller: A Cruel Picture – AKA “They Call Her One Eye!”

Yes, I started with the most controversial exploitation film of them all – and to many fans, the best one as well!

I have posted about this several times already – it is the “Godfather of Grindhouse”…and one of the most legendary as well! It was originally released on grindhouse screens in the US in the early 70′s as “They Call Her One-Eye” – and even “Hooker’s Revenge”, although she’s not a hooker!

Director Quentin Tarantino expressed his admiration for both the film and Lindberg’s performance, and she later served as an inspiration for Darryl Hannah’s character in Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” films.

Here is Quentin more recently with Christina, who he greatly admired, for good reason!

Take a look at the classic trailer, with the US grindhouse title:

Lindberg plays Frigga, who lives with her parents on their farm. Unable to speak after being horrifically raped by an elderly man when she was young, her parents spend the majority of their money on speech therapy classes for their daughter in the hope that one day, she will speak again. One day, Frigga misses the bus to get to her speech therapy class.

She accepts a ride off a suave looking gentlemen named Tony who pulls up beside her. Once they are in town, he takes her for a meal. Afterwards, he takes Frigga back to what appears to be his bachelor pad. He gives her wine that has been drugged, as she passes out.

The man then takes no time in bringing a crooked doctor in to get her fixed on high class heroin.

But Christina escapes after being partially blinded in a brutal attack, and trains herself for the ultimate revenge!

“The Roughest Revenge Movie Ever Made!” Sez Quentin Tarantino!

“Thriller” is a classic of the genre – chock full of sex, violence and revenge!

Quentin Tarantino called it “the roughest revenge movie ever made”, and recommended that actress Daryl Hannah watch the film to prepare for her role in “Kill Bill” as the one-eyed killer Elle Driver.

A long standing rumor surrounding the film was that a real corpse was used for the scene where Madeleine’s eye is taken out with a scalpel. In a March 2006 interview, Christina Lindberg confirmed this. The body was of a young girl who had committed suicide. Makeup was added to the eye, and the shot was filmed in the hospital that had received the body!

If you don’t appreciate grindhouse cinema, DO NOT buy this one. But these films were all european made, and they exhibit a style and mood that is unlike some of the more outrageous US releases at the time…and they are an important part of film history as well…

Honorable mention: ALL other Christina Lindberg movies!

Yes, EVERY single Christina Lindberg film is a sexploitation classic! “Exposed” is one of her great movies, “Anita” is another!

As you can see, Christina Lindberg was the “Queen Of Artsploitation!”

Click on the story below to find out all about this fascinating woman – and see more of her classic films!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/05/21/swedish-sex-kitten-christina-lindberg-the-original-queen-of-artsploitation/

Now, we continue in Europe for what is, for me, one of the wildest, most depraved grindhouse films found by the Danish!

9 – The Sinful Dwarf!

Let’s take a look at “THE MOTHER OF ALL DWARFSPLOITATION FILMS!!”

This 1974 Danish film was recently uncovered after years of being lost, and let me tell you, they found a wild wild WILD movie!

“A young bride, left alone to the lewd passions of an evil dwarf!”

Meet the film’s star – the diminutive former kiddie-show host Torben Bille – who looks disturbingly like Jack Black in a trash compactor -

The Sinful Dwarf is the pint-sized pervert who imprisons drugged teenage sex slaves in the attic of his drunken mother’s decrepit rooming house…and that’s just the first ten minutes!

Poor Anne Sparrow!

Anne Sparrow stars in the film as well. Just look at this description of her, from the cover art on the DVD:

“The delicious Anne Sparrow – in her first and understandably only screen role – co-stars in this towering achievement in graphic depravity, now fully restored from a 35mm print discovered hidden in a janitor’s closet at the Danish Film Institute!”

Anne Sparrow certainly had a good reason NEVER TO ACT AGAIN – Oh, did I mention that our Sinful Dwarf has a Mom – a Mom who is CRAZY – and yes, she SINGS!

You will never clean your ears the same way again…and yes, that’s right – this movie was not only found in a janitor’s closet in Denmark – but they chose not to throw it out!

You will NEVER see a more bizarre film than “The Sinful Dwarf” – and yes, it’s as “euro-sleazy” as they come…this is grindhouse at its best – or worst!

#8 – Mantis In Lace!

Here’s another classic for you – with a plot that is almost “too wild” to believe!

Lila is a good-natured go-go dancer who strips at a seedy topless bar on the Sunset Strip. After ingesting LSD, Lila becomes a psychopathic serial killer.

Read This Carefully!

Now listen to how crazy this plot gets: she continues to pick up men at the bar where she is employed, but:

after her sanity is lost she routinely is interrupted mid-coitus by psychedelic bad trips in which she visualizes a balding, half-naked old man clutching wads of cash in one hand and a bunch of bananas in the other.

Yes, you read that right! Here is what that “half-naked old man clutching wads of cash” looks like:

And of course, the poster for this classic piece of sexploitation lives forever – behind The President and Vice President! How funny that Obama and Biden visited a hamburger stand that proudly showcased the film right behind them!

Well, it could have been worse, I suppose….perhaps like this?

#7 – Lorna The Exorcist!

Legendary softcore filmmaker Jess Franco made a ton of great sexploitation movies: stuff like “The Hot Nights Of Linda” and “Female Vampire”, both starring sex kitten Lina Romay…

Did I mention she was his wife and longtime creative partner? One of their most shocking films of all is this strange classic:

“Lorna The Exorcist” is a pure european arthouse shocker: like many of the Christina Lindberg films, there are long, moody shots interrupted by a surprisingly amount of nudity – and Lina was an exhibitionist – so the nudity part was never a problem…

You can read more about this fascinating Actress – and the Director who filmed her wildest movies – by clicking on the link here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/02/17/countess-perverse-lorna-the-exorcist-jess-francos-naked-masterpieces/

And you have to see the end of “Lorna”, which has Lina’s most dramatic acting ever!

Time to head back to the states and praise a maverick Director who let his passions – and obsessions – play out on drive-in movie screens across America!

#6 – Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

It’s got one of the greatest – and most iconic – movie titles in film history: and it also introduced the world to the toughest, most independent – and yes, most liberated women in exploitation!

Director Russ Meyer LOVED women – and he loved to highlight them in his films, which were full of liberated, progressive, ASS-KICKING LADIES!

There is no denying the impact “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” had in America. It tore down all sorts of barriers in films: lots of sex, violence, and nudity – plus a strong, feminist point of view! For that, Meyer deserves some credit, even though his films certainly oogled his female stars in pure “sexploitation” fashion…

As Russ Meyer would say himself, one is never enough, so to see ALL of his amazing work, head to the post I have right here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/03/16/sexploitation-classics-the-russ-meyer-edition/

“Giallo” To You, Too!

Time to head to Italy for what is a fascinating genre of film, most effectively captured in all of his nudity and bloodshed by the nicely titled:

#5 – Strip Nude For Your Killer!

This movie has a lurid title to be sure, but it’s really a well done suspense thriller about a killer on the loose in Rome.

A fashion photographer is suspected, and of course, he shoots LOTS of pictures of nude models, so it is up to him to solve the crime…

As I said, these italian suspense films were very popular in the 70′s, and they are good movies as well – even with outrageous titles!

If you are unfamiliar with the classic genre “italian giallo”, then click on here for find out all about Europe’s “pulp fiction”!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/07/09/time-to-strip-nude-four-flies-and-baba-yaga-to-you-yes-its-classic-italian-giallo/

From Italy, time to head to the other side of the world, where they are indeed turning sexploitation upside down!

#4 – Robo Geisha!

RoboGeisha! - 2009. Yes, this is a film about a robotic Geisha. If you want to jump right into the deep end of the japanese j-sploitation “crazy pool”, this is the movie to start you off!

Here is the plot: Yoshie, the younger and ill-treated sister of a renowned Geisha, is discovered to have natural strength and fighting ability. She’s recruited into an army of Geisha assassins by the rich and powerful owner of a steel-works, Kageno. During training large (and interesting) parts of their bodies are altered into weaponry directly linked to their brains.

Let’s stop for a second and repeat one line:

parts of their bodies are altered into weaponry.

So what you see above you is a “buttsword”. Yes, it is. She has a sword that comes out of her butt. And that is just the beginning….they also have breast machine guns!

Did I mention that the film features Tengu Warriors – who wear red penis noses?

“Fried Shrimp!”

Did I mention that one girl plunges fried shrimp into the eyes of her enemy?

That’s right: FRIED SHRIMP!

And yes, she has a rotating buzzsaw face…but did you expect less? This movie is CRAZY!

Now, to continue our trip into fantasy land…

#3 – Alice In Wonderland

Yes, this is one of the strangest, and most erotic films of the 70′s – an adult telling of the story of Alice – but this trip is a completely DIFFERENT kind of wonderland!

In this notorious X-rated version of the story, Alice is a virginal librarian, cheerful and outgoing, who acts and dresses younger than her age. While daydreaming about reliving her life, a white rabbit taps her on the shoulder, and she follows him to Wonderland, where playful animals and people introduce her to her imagination and to pleasure.

Kristine DeBell stars as the virginal Alice, who learns alot obout life while down the rabbit hole…

This movie was a big hit – and a rare example of a sexploitation film that highlights comedy and characters over sex and violence…

Now, back to our buddy Jess Franco, and one of his action adventure films…

#2 – Countess Perverse!

Bullseye!

Here is another aspect of a classic sexploitation movie – with a classic film plot that gets twisted, exploitation style! In a play on “The Rules Of The Game”, Jess Franco takes the concept of hunting humans and puts his “euro-sleaze” take on it – he gets a woman to hunt down and kill people – naked!

Alice Arno stars as the naked hunter – and, since it is a Jess Franco film, Lina Romay is back – as the hunted!

The plot is simple: a young girl stumbled upon a castle on an island – and discovers that she is scheduled AS the next meal!

There is SO much nudity in this film that it’s almost hard to concentrate – but then again, that IS the point of the genre:

And once you see a naked woman hunt another naked woman with a bow and arrow, your life will never be the same…

So how this this whole genre begin? I’ve written about it before, but in a nutshell, the sexual revolution of the sixties created an opportunity for savvy Producers to sell “SEX SEX SEX” even if they really didn’t have any sex to show!

#1 – A Smell Of Honey, A Swallow Of Brine!

This film is #1 on my list of the greatest sexploitation movies because it encapsulates everything I have been talking about!

First of all, look at that title: pure sexploitation perfection! This early 60′s film is amazingly tame, even by sexploitation standards, but it acts like it’s a cautionary tale of drugs, sex and sin!

“I May Be A Bitch, But I’ll NEVER Be A Butch!”

Here is a brief scene from the movie that captures everything that makes early sexploitation films so much fun!

This is classic sexploitation: wayward young women discovering how gritty the streets of a big city can be:

Of course, these women grow up fast – meeting all the wrong guys, and finding themselves in the most adult of situations:

So there you have it – ten of the wildest movies you can give someone – films that celebrate an more innocent time, when audiences could still be shocked and amazed at the depravity all around them…enjoy your holiday viewing!

Yes, It’s Jenna Jameson And Sylvester Stallone!

Wait until you hear the story behind this picture!

OK, this was designed to be, as it is known in TV, as a “deep tease.” You will have to keep reading to find out how I ended up taking this picture of Jenna Jameson and Sylvester Stallone – it’s all part of a birthday celebration of sorts…

Two Years Of Posting!

Yes, it’s the two year anniversary of this blog! When my wife Alex suggested I start this blog two years ago today, she thought it would be a fun creative outlet. She had NO idea it could lead to THIS:

Yes, I used that trust Alex placed in me to share things like this “bacon cube burger”, and some of you have thanked me for it. I have also shared things like THIS:

If you don’t recognize this image, consider yourself lucky. (Yes, it’s The Bee Gees as Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band!) While this blog has been a fun project for me, it has also turned into much more: it’s been a way to share a wide variety of stories of interest to me, and more importantly, it has been a great way to meet a lot of new people with similar passions…like all of the Todd Rundgren fans I’ve met…

521,270 Strong!

I wanted to update everyone on the blog, and of course to thank all of you who take the time to read it. Last year at this time, I had just cracked 104,000 views.

In the last year, I saw a huge increase in the average daily traffic to the site – thanks in part to the huge amount of interest in things like the Eagles reunion tour, which you can see above – as well as the large number of people who have been interested in seeing just HOW Marlon Brando remembered his lines on the set of “The Godfather”:

As you can see, he DIDN’T! Yes, that is Robert Duvall holding cue cards for Brando! That story has been very popular, and if you missed it, here it is:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/03/20/brandos-cue-cards-real-horse-heads-the-godfathers-best-stories/

I also shared Clemenza’s recipe for meatballs – you know, when you need to feed a dozen guys after you “go to the mattresses”:

So, thanks to all of you, I smashed through a half a million views for the blog! I wanted to not only thank everyone for their support, but to share some of the most popular stories – and preview what is still to come!

Cool It, Ringo!

So, what have people responded to most? Well, it’s been everything from crazy stuff like this picture of Ringo and Raquel Welch clowning around on the set of the cult classic “The Magic Christian”…in fact, these guys always do great:

The Beatles never cease to interest people, and rightly so – my single most viewed story of last year was this one – looking at the “lost” Beatles documentary, “Let It Be”:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/04/06/let-it-be-the-beatles-lost-documentary-londons-live-beatles-rooftop-concert/

Over 49,000 views for this story so far – as always, The Beatles have spoken…well, at least their fans! And speaking of rabid fans, let’s hear it for “Jerseylicious!”

“Jerseylicious” Forever!

Thanks as well to the terrific cast of “Jerseylicious”, and to the fans who love them…my wife Alex Duda created this show in 2009, and in the five seasons so far I’ve been lucky enough to befriend many of the incredibly talent people followed on the show…

Oliva is not only “America’s Sweetheart”, she’ a terrific makeup artist – and a wonderful person as well…Tracy is also great, and yes, she got married in the “still to be seen” season six of the series…

I’ve had an amazing amount of interest in my behind-the-scenes looks at the show…like when Gigi, Tracy and Olivia visited Steve Harvey:

It was a great year for the team – I had more than 11,000 views of the story about the “Jerseylicious” book by Anthony and Olivia – with amazing cast pictures by Karl Giant!

So many fun posts so far, and more “Jerseylicious” to come….you know, THE WEDDING…

In addition to stories about TV and movies, I also love posting stories about music…including stories about the eagles, Paul McCartney, great new female singer/songwriters like Grace Potter, the best and worst Jame Bond themes, and of course:

“Todd Is God!”

Todd fans know what that means, and they showed it in a big way this year…I want to thank the Todd Rundgren fans who have really shown support for this blog, including a retweet from Todd himself! Here is that story:

http://musicplatter.com/2013/11/01/laura-nyro-todd-rundgrens-muse-todds-retweet/

The original story was about Todd’s friendship with Laura Nyro, an amazing singer/songwriter…and apparently Todd approved!

I posted this story and got a retweet from Todd’s twitter account – which was really cool – I’ve also been lucky enough to have been acknowledged by Director William Friedkin, Actress Rebel Wilson and the legendary singer/songwriter Paul Williams….among many others who have RT’d my stories and shared them with friends…

You can always sign up to receive all of the music-specific stories here:

http://musicplatter.com

What’s With All The Sites?

I’m sorry if I confused some of you with the “topic-specific” sub-sites, but here’s an explanation: When I started blogging, Alex suggested a title that would capture what the site was all about – but as you see, it’s about a lot of different stuff! So I used my name as an easy entry point…

Well, maybe not so easy, since my entire life has seen RIEBER spelled “REIBER”…So, to resolve the confusion, here’s how it works…I post virtually every single day on Johnrieber.com. I hope you all sign up to get notifications – so you won’t miss anything like THIS:

Yes, “Love Actually” is my favorite holiday film…well, except maybe for “Planes, Trains & Automobiles”…and in case you missed this post, here is a list of ALL of the best holiday films:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/11/23/amazing-love-actually-facts-rare-wonderful-life-photos-the-best-holiday-movies-ever/

You see, Del Griffith understands! You don’t have to do anything to get a wide variety of stories from me – just stop by Johnrieber.com and see what’s new…and, if you want more on a certain type of subject, the mini-sites are a way for you to take a blog shortcut:

If you need a quick “bacon fix”, you don’t have to look through the 500+ posts on Johnrieber.com …because “biteeatswallow” has a bacon tab that will take you immediate to this:

Yes, you know I will always have bacon for you somewhere!

Bite Down Hard!

I enjoy posting about strange and unique food items – or as you can see above, “bacon superheroes”…and of course, I love burgers, like this ramen burger from Japan:

And you can never go wrong with a slider…I have posted many recipes for making unique sliders from around the world, like this incredible one from Japan – the “wasabi avocado slider”!

I post all of the food stories on this site first, but later I also post them on a more-specific site devoted to the wacky world of food – like this food stadium to make for Super Bowl Sunday!

Remember, any time you need a burger fix – or any other food stories, you can always go here:

http://biteeatswallow.com

Something like this will ALWAYS be waiting!

Time For A Fight!

I was most excited this year to start the “film fight club!” This allowed you to hammer down on the important film arguments of the day!

The purpose of “Film Fight Club” is solely to argue about movies we love, hate, and love to hate!
This is where you can discuss your favorite James Bond theme song, as well as why you think “The Human Centipede” is a misunderstood masterpiece!

And yes, I got lots of hate comments from fans of “Centipede”, who couldn’t understand why I called it “misguided”! Check out all of the film battles here!

http://filmfightclub.com/

Forget movies, let’s see the world!

I know that some of you enjoy vacationing here:

Let’s Travel The World!

Yep, for those of you who love to travel the world – well, I’ve got you covered: whether it’s Barcelona’s amazing aerial trams, which give you an amazing sky-high view of this incredible city, or surfing with Sasha Grey on Australia’s Bondi Beach…

I posted a number of stories recounting my G4 shoot in Australia with Sasha Grey: everything from her surfing Bondi Beach – to getting photo bombed by live sharks:

I always have to remind people that there was NOTHING between Sasha and those sharks…and then there was this clip of Sasha in the tallest building in the southern hemisphere – by far the most popular video I posted, with more than 24,000 views:

Sasha went 88 stories high in Melbourne, Australia’s Eureka tower – just one of the many travel adventures I’ve been able to share. I’ve been lucky enough to travel to some really fun places, and I’ve gotten a great response from people when I post these stories on “spinningorbit”, which you can check out here:

http://spinningorbit.com/

So, I want to thank everyone who has read a story, and I hope you come back for many more in the years ahead…there have been many fun adventures – interesting people, places and food – so what is next?

Year Three…

Here is a tease: there are more great adventures to come, including my legendary trip to Thailand with Jenna Jameson!

And it wasn’t just us…we hung out with Sylvester Stallone too!

More on that trip soon – really one of my most unique travel adventures ever – and more on Tracy’s “Jerseylcious” wedding as well:

I also have some VERY unique food to share soon:

And I have some great stories about some of the best movies of the 70′s – films that deserve to be remembered, revered, and watched!

Yes, I will be telling the story of “The Getaway”, a classic action film that also caused a Hollywood scandal! And for fans of TRULY unique movies, I have some of the most amazing exploitation classics to share with you as well!

Yes, more crazy world cinema to share! You can always read about it by clicking here:

http://jrsploitation.com/

This is my mini-site devoted to the most unique and outrageous movies the world has ever offered!

And there is a whole world of entertainment still to explore! That’s just a sneak peek of what is still to come…see, there IS a reason to keep reading!

Thanks again to everyone for your support – as always, please leave comments pro, con, or “positively negative”…I enjoy hearing back from you – and thanks again for reading! I will leave you one last tease – a new post about Todd Rundgren and some of his neglected masterpieces is on the way…

Here’s proof: click on the link to enjoy Todd’s amazing live version of “Fade Away”…more to come on this as well!

Here’s a discussion you could lose your head over! It’s Friday the 13th, and that means it’s time to get scared!

Do you know this image? Well, it’s just one of the many films I’ve got for you today…

Our Friday The 13th Shockfest 2013!

It’s time to celebrate horror! And I know there are ALL kinds of scary movies. THIS is the image you expect to see on Friday the 13th:

Time to welcome Jason Vorhees back into your house! It’s the day we grab the scariest movies we can find and turn down the lights…and if you don’t invite your friends in, they will find a way to visit anyway…

I love scary movies…and there are SO many different ones to enjoy…so what are the best? I have my favorites of course…

Yes, it’s time to get completely “horrified” for Friday the 13th, and I wanted to share a wide variety of “horrific” directions you could go…like, say….

Wait, WHAT? Too much too soon? Then you certainly WON’T appreciate this:

Friday The 13th Is On!

One of the great arguments is the debate over what is the scariest movie of all time…there is so much classic horror, psychological terror, and just outright bloody good fun…

“Scream” certainly had it share of jolts – but also a self-awareness that undercut some of the horror….some people love that, some don’t…some just want to get to the kill…

To that end, is Michael Myers the scariest person in film? In 1978, “Halloween” shocked a nation eager for a new face of horror…does that make “Halloween” the scariest film of all time?

Some upscale movie fans think THIS is the face of horror…

Yes, “The Shining” is a great horror film to put on at night with the lights out….oh, and speaking of scary looks, this one’s pretty good too:

Um, does somebody want to tell sweet Regan that she is turned the wrong way and can’t see the TV? Seriously, you can’t go wrong with these two classic horror films, read more about “The Shining” and “The Exorcist” by clicking on here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/10/31/the-shining-room-237-the-exorcist-the-greatest-horror-movies-ever-made/

Need more? Sure you do!

“Evil Dead” Perhaps?

Without a doubt, the first “Evil Dead” has a lot of shocking moments, but the sequel added lots of laughs with the blood…undercutting the horror a bit….then again, you could go further along the supernatural route by trying “The Changeling”…

The brilliant “The Changeling” starring George C. Scott isn’t as well known as “Evil Dead”, but both deliver the goods! Click here to read about both!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/10/07/halloween-horror-bloody-tension-scary-changelings-and-the-evil-dead/

The above story includes some “Switchblade Romance” AKA “High Tension” as well – a slasher shocker that delivers!

“Light Comedy” Perhaps?

Well, you’ve come to the right place if you are one of the people who think THIS is a black comedy:

In 1974, this guy ran around with his friendly chainsaw and shocked audiences…the first example of “shock and awe” in movie theaters…

Yes, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is just about the most intensely scary film to watch in the dark, and you can read all about the classic “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” as well as the brilliant – ORIGINAL – “Carrie” by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/06/17/pea-soup-pigs-blood-and-grandpas-silver-hammer-the-horror-the-horror/

Yes, Brian DePalma’s “Carrie” is a perfect horror film: lots of blood, sweat and fears!

Or Maybe Just Hang With “Jessica”?

Oops, too late – she’s dead! Well, this is a classic creepy horror film, and so is “Rosemary’s Baby”, so check out both by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/10/26/rosemarys-baby-jessicas-scared-to-death-great-halloween-horror/

Talk about a colic-y baby!

So, every film on these lists is full of good scares – some creepy, some shocking…and then there is, for those of you who JUST NEED BLOOD:

Yep, “J-Sploitation” to the rescue! You have to check out these “over the top” bloody horror camp classic by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/10/15/tokyo-gore-for-halloween-behold-j-sploitation-nishimura-rules-extreme-japanese-cinema/

I promise you: you will NEVER find movies with more blood than these ones!

Well, that said, I MAY have found a challenger- or two – to the crown – also from overseas:

“Trouble Every Day”, Indeed!

Yep, those french sure do love to soak up the screen in the color red! And they aren’t alone! Check out these obscure horror classics from France, South Korea and Hong Kong – all GREAT horror films: “Trouble Every Day”, “Cold Fish” and “Dream Home” by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/03/27/eye-popping-extreme-cinema-cold-fish-bloody-vampires-vengeance/

And speaking of foreign shock and scares…

Need some Italian “Pulp Fiction”?

While not “horror” like “The Exorcist”, there is a category of film known as the “Italian Giallo” film that features lots of shocks, scares, and mayhem!

These italian horror slashers will do the trick this Halloween for you:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/07/09/time-to-strip-nude-four-flies-and-baba-yaga-to-you-yes-its-classic-italian-giallo/

Yes, SHOCKING!

Now, In Case You Need Something Even MORE Distateful:

Yep, there is “Nazisploitation Horror” - you know, movies about how the Nazis avoided losing WW2 because they fled TO THE MOON – and are now coming back for revenge on the Earth – as Zombies! Bite down on this wacky horror trend by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/10/23/bad-taste-this-halloween-nazi-zombie-halloween-horror-halloween-party-movies/

Or, if you REALLY want to camp it up – get some “old lady horror!”

If you ever needed to see Debbie Reynolds in a horror film – and I really think you do – then this is the link for you!

http://johnrieber.com/2013/03/09/old-lady-horror-crazy-ladies-chew-up-the-screen/

So, on this Friday the 13th weekend, I encourage you all to get scared, and let me know what your favorite horror film is!

Home For The Holidays!

OK, I get it, you’ve celebrated the holidays – relatives visiting, with wonderful meals, gifts and conversation…day after day after day – and now you just need to be alone. But guess what?

THE RELATIVES JUST WON’T LEAVE!

Sure, this Jimmy Kimmel party LOOKS fun, but even these partygoers left at some point! I know there are traditions and all, but you can’t just keep entertaining…enough is enough! It won’t work if you put on a classic holiday film like this:

Who would leave before finding out if he was going to “shoot your eye out with that thing?” But what if, instead of “A Christmas Story”, you decided to screen THIS MOVIE:

How fast do you think this film would clear the room? I’ve got just what you need to send the relatives back to Fresno where they belong? What’s my secret?

Well, it all begins with “scum!” I mean, to clear a room, you’ve got to put on a really bad film. How bad? REALLY BAD! How do you define awful? Is it fair to consider a movie “bad” just because it looks like THIS?

There is a “special” kind of film that not only offends, but actively drives your guests away…and this could be the “Citizen Kane” of awful…

“They Mangle The Beautiful Into The Mutilated!”

That is just one of the great taglines on the poster for “The Ghastly Ones”…sounds like a great horror film, right? RIGHT? So, when Uncle Ed or Aunt Millie refuse to take the hint that your holiday party is over, offer to put a film on, load up your DVD with one of these films, and you are on your way!

Let’s look at “Blood Feast” – which is considered “The Godfather Of Grime”! A more shocking way to end a holiday I can’t think of!

A great exploitation movie offers up a certain number of guaranteed elements: plenty of blood, gore, nudity and sexual situations – all presented as cheaply and garishly as possible!

“Nothing So Appalling In The Annals Of Horror!”

Talk about truth in advertising! This film IS appalling – in how it is made! But I’m having a bit of fun here, because this is considered “The Godfather Of Grime”! In 1964, this film SHOCKED the world with its depiction of bloody violence and sex – take a look at the classic trailer:

Yep, I call this the “Godfather Of Grime” – the first time anyone dared to film such mayhem and madness – the work of legendary Exploitation Director Herschell Gordan Lewis! Flaunting all movie codes, Lewis made “Blood Feast” for around $50,000 – and it grossed millions! Yes, it’s a lousy movie, but it really blew the doors off grindhouse theaters across the country!

The plot is simple: A crazy Egyptian caterer named “Ramses” collects body parts from young maidens in order to bring Ishtar, an ancient goddess of good and evil back to life. And he does it with VERY BIG EYES!

This film was a shocking sensation, thanks to some very clever marketing. Legendary Grindhouse Producer David F. Friedman came up with some very effective publicity stunts for “Blood Feast” which included giving theater goers vomit bags reading:

“You may need this when you see ‘Blood Feast’”!

Lewis went on to make another classic exploitation film:

“Gruesomely Stained In Blood Color!”

While Lewis kept piling on the blood, Producer Friedman kept to the bedroom to uncover America’s sordid sex secrets:

“DEPRAVED! DEMENTED! LOATHSOME! NAMELESS! SHAMELESS! THESE ARE THE:”

“Hell is their only address!”

Trust me when I tell you that there is A LOT of sleazy stuff on display here, all presented a a cautionary tale! Friedman was the master at it. To read more about this amazingly prolific Exploitation Producer, click on the whole story HERE:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/02/27/nudie-cuties-a-swallow-of-brine-the-defilers-meet-the-producer-of-scum/

And don’t miss Friedman’s classic:

“Everything They Touch Is Stained!”

Herschell Gordon Lewis directed “Blood Feast”, and he also loved to exploit sex…starting with early “nudie cuties” – education films that offered the only legal way to show nudity in movies, by offering an “educational” angle to the nudity…like his take on “nudist camps!”

After that success, Lewis decided to shock American instead…

The phenomenal success of “Blood Feast” inspired the Director – he also directed the classic “2000 Maniacs” and “Color Me Blood Red!”

“Drenched In Crimson Color!”

These are classic of the genre – and all of them are pretty awful!

It’s enough to give you a splitting headache!

How was that for a segue? Don’t worry, it all makes sense, as we now venture into the world of arguably the world’s WORST film maker! And don’t worry, it’s presented:

“In Cranium-Cleaving Color!”

How can you resist a movie that offers this tagline?

The Ghastly Ones!

I love classic grindhouse poster art – always offering sex, violence, SHOCKS BEYOND BELIEF! – “c’mon in suckers, the water’s fine!”

Check out the “Doctor’s Warning” on the poster – a classic “come on” for the suckers at that time…love it! Now, back to why we are here: “The Ghastly Ones” is one of the world’s WORST exploitation films ever made! Check out this legendarily bad trailer!

Here is the plot: Three married couples spend the night in a Victorian-era house where they start getting killed off by a deranged psycho who’s bent on claiming an inheritance they are all entitled to.

Sure, that’s a servicable plot: but under the Direction of Andy Milligan, it’s a debacle! Here’s a great bit of trivia, thanks to IMDB: In several of the fight scenes of the film, the crew and their cameras and sound equipment are visible.

There are also moments when the director can be heard softly reminding the actors of their lines!

Now THAT”S film making! As one reader on IMDB stated:

“This is an absolutely horrible film in every way possible.”

Now, that’s what it takes to make this list – you have to lose your head!

Once again, thanks to the great film buffs at Something Weird Video, you can have “The Ghastly Ones” as part of a Milligan double bill! Congrats to the SW people for keeping this part of movie history alive!

To see ALL of Milligan’s directing madness – and trust me there is plenty of jaw-dropping badness to share, click here!

http://johnrieber.com/2013/02/13/fleshpots-rats-cranium-cleaving-color-meet-andy-milligan-sexploitations-ed-wood/

And if you want to guarantee to clear your house – and I mean fast – then this is the movie for you:

“A young bride, left alone to the lewd passions of an evil dwarf!”

Severin Films is officially going to Hell – and taking you with them – with the DVD release of what may be the sleaziest film in EuroCult history:

Diminutive former kiddie-show host Torben Bille – who looks disturbingly like Jack Black in a trash compactor – stars as a young man who takes a special interest in the female guests at his mother’s boarding house…

Yes, that is Torben Bille – The Sinful Dwarf – who stars as the pint-sized pervert who imprisons drugged teenage sex slaves in the attic of his drunken mother’s decrepit rooming house…and that’s just the first ten minutes!

Poor Anne Sparrow!

Just look at this description from the cover art:

“The delicious Anne Sparrow – in her first and understandably only screen role – co-stars in this towering achievement in graphic depravity, now fully restored from a 35mm print discovered hidden in a janitor’s closet at the Danish Film Institute!”

Anne Sparrow certainly had a good reason NEVER TO ACT AGAIN – in classic euro-sleaze style, she is abducted and abused by our Sinful Dwarf – while her husband naively looks for a job…

Oh, did I mention that his Mom is CRAZY – and yes, she SINGS! Happy Mother’s Day indeed! You will never clean your ears the same way again…

And yes, that’s right – this movie was not only found in a janitor’s closet in Denmark – but they chose not to throw it out!

You will never see a more bizarre film than “The Sinful Dwarf” – and yes, it’s a euro-sleazy as they come…this is grindhouse at its best – or worst!

Put in any of these classic exploitation films and watch the floodgates open and the driveway clear! And by the way, I own all of these films!

Time to celebrate a classic genre of 70′s film, and celebrate two women who not only broke racial barriers by starring in these films, but they scored big at the box office as well!

First up: FOXY BROWN!

Michael Anderson: I don’t know… vigilante justice?
Foxy Brown: It’s as American as apple pie.

Pam Grier IS “Foxy Brown!”

In the 70′s, blaxploitation films were the rage, with such classics as “Shaft”, “The Mack” and “Cotton Comes To Harlem” leading the way…

Cue “Coffy!”

The success of this urban action genre led to a series of hit action films with WOMEN as the stars – breaking a lot of barriers at the same time – and none were bigger than Pam Grier!

Pam Grier burst onto the scene (more in a moment on that) and became a star as “Foxy Brown” – who had attitude, confidence, and street smarts – and she could kick ass when she needed to as well – as “Bobbi” is about to find out!

Bobbie: Listen skinny, before you start talking tough, I’d better warn you I’ve got a black belt in karate. So why don’t you get out of here quietly, while you still got some teeth left in that ugly face?

[Foxy knocks her down with a barstool]

Foxy Brown: And I’ve got MY black belt in barstools!

Here’s The “Foxy Brown” Classic Blaxploitation Trailer!

Here’s the very succinct – and very descriptive – description of “Foxy Brown” on IMDB: “A voluptuous black woman takes a job as a high-class prostitute in order to get revenge on the mobsters who murdered her boyfriend.”

“Voluptuous” Indeed!

The Rise Of Pam Grier!

Pam Grier got her start as a “party goer” in “Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls”, but she broke out big in Director Jack Hill’s classic of exploitation, his “women in prison” epic, “The Big Doll House!”

“They Caged Their Bodies – But Not Their Desires!”

These were classic exploitation films that played every drive-in in America – sexy, crude “women in prison” films – a popular genre that made tons of money at a time when exploitation was getting more daring…and Pam Grier stuck out and made a big impression on the crowd!

This sweltering mix of hot young women – angry, violent and mostly naked – in prison was very popular at the time, and Grier used her popularity in this film to go on to star in one of the first “blaxploitation” films of the era, called “Coffy”….

This low budget, violent action film was such a success that a sequel was inevitable. According to director Jack Hill – yes, the genius behind “Big Doll House”, “Foxy Brown” was originally intended to be a sequel to his “Coffy”, and in fact the working title of the film was “Burn, Coffy, Burn!”

However, American-International Pictures decided at the last minute it didn’t want to do a sequel, even though “Coffy” was a huge hit. So a new action star was created, “Foxy Brown!” Pam Grier’s rise to stardom was confirmed, as “Foxy Brown” was a big hit!

Tarantino’s Homage To Pam!

Director Quentin Tarantino was such a fan of Pam Grier and her iconic action status that he made “Jackie Brown” just so she could star in it – and made her a leading lady again!

Pam Grier was the best known “Blaxploitation queen”, but there was another leading lady kicking ass and taking names as well….and her name was:

“Cleopatra Jones!”

Tamara Dobson is “Cleopatra Jones!”

Here’s the story of Tamara Dobson: she was a young actress in Hollywood, with only two small parts to her credit…then, because everyone was looking to take advantage of “Foxy Brown”‘s success, she got cast as the lead in a new action movie – “Cleopatra Jones”! That is the story of Tamara Dobson in a nutshell – a 6′ 2″ model who overnight became one of blaxploitation’s biggest stars!

Here is the trailer for “Cleopatra Jones” starring Tamara Dobson and Oscar Winner Shelley Winters!

Oh as you can tell, Shelley Winters doesn’t just chew up the scenery, she beats the hell of it as well!

There was one sequel, “Cleopatra Jones And The Casino Of Gold” – in hindsight, it sounds like an earlier incarnation of an Indiana Jones movie!

Even though “Cleopatra Jones” was a huge hit, Tamara Dobson wasn’t able to capitalize on that – the blaxploitation genre dried up, and she never become a huge star – and unfortunately, Dobson struggled to find roles going forward…sadly, she died in 2006.

“Cleopatra Jones” is a fun, action-packed film with some crazy scenery chewing by Shelley Winters…definitely worth checking out!

If you need more crazy Shelley Winters, try out this story – she was the leader in another 70′s fil genre about crazy old ladies who killed, killed, and killed some more – click on this link to find out all about the wacky genre of “Old Lady Horror”!

http://johnrieber.com/2013/03/09/old-lady-horror-crazy-ladies-chew-up-the-screen/

Kudos to “Foxy Brown” and “Cleopatra Jones” for showing the world that women could kick ass just a hard as a man! Leave a comment telling me YOUR favorite blaxploitation film!

“What Secrets Are Harbored Within The Sinister Highways Of The Mind?”

Time to celebrate someone who has helped save some of the world’s craziest films!

Sad news to report about the passing of a man who spent his life saving obscure cinema for the world to savor: Mike Vraney, the founder of Something Weird Video, has died. The website has the entire story and a very nice eulogy to Vraney, which you can see here…

http://www.somethingweird.com/

I wanted to share some of the incredible films that Something Weird has saved for future generations, including my favorite “worst movie of all time”…yes, wait for it:

PSYCHED BY THE 4D WITCH!

For that I will ALWAYS be grateful to Vraney, but it speaks to his unique passion for film: he knew that NOBODY would ever let “The Godfather” fade away to obscurity – Vraney focused on the kind of movie that snuck in and out of your local graindhouse theater or drive-in during the 60′s and 70′s, and he decided to keep their spirit alive! How? Well, how about THIS!

“Confessions Of A Psycho Cat!”

“What Secrets Are Harbored Within The Sinister Highways Of The Mind?”

With twisted violence, macabre humor, and lots of gratuitous skin (it was apparently shot as a straight horror film with the nude scenes added a year or two later), CONFESSIONS OF A PSYCHO CAT is a delirious, out-of-its-mind instant cult classic, and the scene where Virginia dresses like a toreador to come after “Raging Bull” La Motta is exploitation at its best!

Wait – JAKE LAMOTTA????

Yes, Jake LaMotta!

This is why we need to celebrate Vraney’s efforts!

Here are several of Something Weird’s other masterworks – who else would have thought to keep alive the classic movie madness of:

“DEADLY WEAPONS!”

When Gangsters kill her boyfriend, the eye-popping, excessively endowed Chesty Morgan seeks revenge with two of the most incredible weapons ever seen on the motion picture screen: her 73-inch breasts! Yes, this bizarre sexploitation oddity was directed by Dorish Wishman, and Something Weird has saved many of the Director’s films from obscurity!

Or how about THESE!

Something Weird has the classics from the “Godfathers Of Grime”, Herschell Gordon Lewis and David F. Friedman!

“Nothing So Appalling In The Annals Of Horror!”

Talk about truth in advertising! But I’m having a bit of fun here, because this is considered “The Godfather Of Grime”! In 1964, this film SHOCKED the world with its depiction of bloody violence and sex – take a look at the classic trailer:

Yep, it’s the work of legendary Exploitation Director Herschell Gordan Lewis! Flaunting all movie codes, Lewis made “Blood Feast” for around $50,000 – and it grossed millions! Yes, it’s a lousy movie, but it really blew the doors off grindhouse theaters across the country!

This film was a shocking sensation, thanks to some very clever marketing. Legendary Grindhouse Producer David F. Friedman came up with some very effective publicity stunts for “Blood Feast” which included giving theater goers vomit bags reading:

“You may need this when you see ‘Blood Feast’”!

Lewis went on to make another classic exploitation film:

“Gruesomely Stained In Blood Color!”

The phenomenal success of “Blood Feast” inspired the Director – he also directed the classic “2000 Maniacs” and “Color Me Blood Red!”

“Drenched In Crimson Color!”

Mike Vraney also saved the work of arguably the world’s WORST film maker! And don’t worry, it’s presented:

“In Cranium-Cleaving Color!”

How can you resist a movie that offers this tagline?

The Ghastly Ones!

Check out the “Doctor’s Warning” on the poster – a classic “come on” for the suckers at that time…love it! Now, back to why we are here: “The Ghastly Ones” is one of the world’s WORST exploitation films ever made! Check out this legendarily bad trailer!

Here is the plot: Three married couples spend the night in a Victorian-era house where they start getting killed off by a deranged psycho who’s bent on claiming an inheritance they are all entitled to.

Sure, that’s a servicable plot: but under the Direction of Andy Milligan, it’s a debacle! Here’s a great bit of trivia, thanks to IMDB: In several of the fight scenes of the film, the crew and their cameras and sound equipment are visible.

There are also moments when the director can be heard softly reminding the actors of their lines!

Now THAT”S film making! As one reader on IMDB stated:

“This is an absolutely horrible film in every way possible.”

Now, that’s what it took to get Mike Vraney to save your film – but he may have saved the best of all!

Behold an original drive-in theater ad for the amazingly bad, perfectly chosen by Something Weird video classic:

“Psyched By The 4D Witch!”

Earlier I mentioned this classic film. Well, it’s not so much a “classic movie” as it is a series of b-roll shots with a poorly written narration laid over it…and shots of this actress…

This movie was actually released in movie theaters…with NO synched sound at all, the worst voiceover narration ever recorded, and random footage strung together to fill time…in fact, it was described by Something Weird Video (who was smart enough to release it on DVD) as:

“the most maddening, jaw-dropping, mind-bending piece of celluloid lunacy ever to play American theaters!”

You understand that is EXACTLY why Vraney saved this film – he was passionate about the obscure, often atrocious movies that deserve to be savored by future generations of bad movie lovers!

Once again, congrats to Vraney and the SW team for keeping this part of movie history alive! I plan to honor their work by going to the website and ordering up a few obscure classics to enjoy forever…

RIP Mike! Go check out ALL of his movie – and there are hundred! – by clicking here!

http://www.somethingweird.com/

Never Forget!

Never forget…..the hair that is….this incredible Jan-Claude hairstyle always reminds me of his greatest movie: John Woo’s Louisiana bayou thriller “Hard Target!” But there is SO much more to celebrate about Jean-Claude – because JCVD is back in a BIG BIG WAY!

Jean-Claude Van Damme was one of the world’s biggest stars. From “Bloodsport” to “Time Cop” to the classic “Hard Target”, Jean-Claude kicked ass across a multitude of great action films…and then, Jean-Claude fell off our screens…until now.

“Central to Unit 27. Jean-Claude Van Damme’s robbing a post office. I need back-up!”

Wait, WHAT? Don;’t worry, I’ll explain in a moment….I will also explain how I ended up:

Hanging With Jean-Claude In Cannes!

I will tell you all about hanging out with the legendary action star – many times – in Cannes, but first, here is the already legendary “splits” TV ad with Jean-Claude Van Damme:

Kudos, Mr. Van Damme! This TV ad has certainly put Jean-Claude back in the spotlight, but you missed his real comeback just last year…and I will also tell you how I have been lucky enough to hang with the action star several times when I was running programming at E! More on that as well, but first, I have to tell you about a revelatory movie starring the “Muscles From Brussels!”

Looking good, JCVD! However, there’s a LOT more on display than just Jean-Claude’s muscles…there is a real, honest, and open look at an action star…if you haven’t seen the terrific film “JCVD”, you are missing out on Jean-Claude’s greatest performance ever…

I was stunned by how good this movie was – I had heard about Jean-Claude’s performance, but never got around to wartching it – and when I did, I was stunned…..First, take a look at the trailer for the great film “JCVD”:

Policier: “Central to Unit 27. Jean-Claude Van Damme’s robbing a post office. I need back-up!”

And with this urgent police call, “JCVD” explodes into action! Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! In “JCVD”, Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States. But nothing goes as planned…

I won’t share anything else, as the joy of this film is to watch it unfold…The concept for “JCVD” originated with the producer, who had an agreement with Jean-Claude Van Damme to play himself in a movie. In the original screenplay Van Damme was portrayed more as a clown. Mabrouk El Mechri was brought on to rewrite, and was subsequently asked to direct.

Director Mabrouk El Mechri agreed to rewrite the script on the condition he could meet Jean-Claude Van Damme first before starting the draft, so he wouldn’t waste six months on something that Van Damme would veto.

There is a funny scene in a taxi involving Jean-Claude and a cab driver, and whole scene is completely improvised. Mabrouk El Mechri told Jean-Claude Van Damme to just be nice to the driver no matter what she said!

But the real masterstroke in the film takes place about halfway through, when Jean-Claude breaks the fourth wall to speak directly to the audience…it is mesmerizing, and one of the best monologues committed to film…I don’t want to spoil it, but here is a short snippet to give you an idea of the honesty on display:

J.C.V.D.: “This movie is for me. There we are, you and me. Why did you do that? Or why did I do that? You made my dream come true. I asked for it. I promised you something in return and I haven’t delivered yet. You win, I lose. Unless…”

This monologue goes on for several more minutes – no break, one single take – and it is mesmerizing…you can see the real anguish in his face, in his voice…and the real emotion! After you see this scene, you can’t help but root for Jean-Claude to survive!

This is also a fun, twisty action thriller as well – a real return to form for the “Muscle From Brussels”…really worth checking out – I have the blu-ray of the movie…it’s just the latest chapter in a wild ride for the action star…which took him many times to the south of France…

Welcome To The Cannes Film Festival!

Yes, Cannes is a gorgeous city on the French Riviera, where celebrities gather every year to celebrate film…and we would travel to cover the festival for E!

For many years, my Host was Michael Castner, who Alex points out was always the hardest worker on the team…

Just kidding, Michael – he was terrific to work with, and always got great interviews for us – including this revealing conversation with Jean-Claude at the famed Hotel du Cap…

One year, after a huge Cannes party, I was hanging out with Jean-Claude – since we had covered many Planet Hollywood openings and Cannes festivals, we had become acquainted – and I had just seen his latest movie.

I said to Jean-Claude, congratulations on “Hard Target!” He looked at me and said, “we can do better!” I just smiled but I thought, “no, Jean-Clause, you CAN’T do better than John Woo!” That was, unfortunately, the last time we saw this hairstyle on screen…

And JCVD went into a career tailspin…until now…so kudos on the TV ad, bravo for “JCVD”, and most importantly,

“Welcome Back Jean-Claude!”

All Hail The 1970′s!

I love 70′s movies! They are chock full of iconic stars with BIG GUNS!

Some of these movies will live forever, some have been unfortunately neglected – but thanks to DVD, blu-ray, and the thousands of films available ondemand, you never have to forget them again!

If you need to see some classic 70′s cinema, here are ten ways to start – a collection of some of the toughest action films of that decade, with terrific performances from some of Hollywood’s biggest stars…let’s get started with a neglected gem with Oscar winners in front of and behind the camera!

10-Thunderbolt And Lightfoot!

This 1974 action film is a classic, criminally overlooked Clint Eastwood heist movie – Jeff Bridges was Oscar-nominated for his role here – and it is directed by Michael Cimino, who would go on next to do the Oscar-winning best picture of 1978, “The Deer Hunter!”

That’s right, Jeff Bridges was Oscar-nominated for this, and he is terrific as always! Clint Eastwood plays a bank robber par excellence with a flair for explosives who is being hunted by his former partners, who think he has their loot from their last job.

Bridges is his eager apprentice and sidekick, who helps him escape; when Eastwood finally makes peace with his hunters, Bridges convinces them to try a daring robbery–but things inevitably go awry. Well worth the effort to find this one – as it features a VERY BIG GUN!

Here’s another film that is fairly obscure as well…and a western!

9-The Hunting Party!

In 1971, Gene Hackman, Oliver Reed and Candace Bergen starred in this gritty western.

Oliver Reed is the outlaw who wants to learn to read, and Candace Bergen is the school teacher he kidnaps to teach him –

Bergen is not only a school teacher, she’s also the wife of cattle baron Gene Hackman – who wants his wife back…

Hackman rustles up a “Hunting Party” and begins to pick off the bad guys one by one. And what starts as a rescue mission turns into a “hunting party”…

This film was shocking for the amount of violence it showed…this was a time shortly after “The Wild Bunch” raised the stakes for violence in a film…

Lots of grindhouse violence here, but kind of interesting to watch a clear B-movie being acted out by some A-list Actors!

And speaking of A-List Actors – here are several, this time is an A+ classic action thriller!

8-The Taking Of Pelham 1-2-3

Take some of the greatest character Actors of the 70′s, add some dynamite action sequences…blend with sharp dialogue and a delicious sense of humor and you have one of the great action films of the 70′s. You also have one of the great 70′s movie posters…

Here is the plot summary of “The Taking Of Pelham 1-2-3″: Four armed men hijack a New York City subway train and demand 1 million dollars – which must be delivered in 1 hour – or they will begin to execute the passengers…

Legendary Actor Walter Matthau plays Lt. Rico Patrone, who oversees the crime unit for the NY Subway. He is willing to admit that their job isn’t that exciting:

Lt. Rico Patrone: “We had a bomb scare in the Bronx yesterday, but it turned out to be a cantaloupe.”

Robert Shaw plays the leader of the hijackers, Mr. Blue. Shaw starred in a number of classic 70′s films, such as “The Sting” and “Jaws”, and he was the nearly-unstoppable killer in “From Russia With Love.” His fight sequence inside a train compartment against James Bond 007′s Sean Connery is a classic as well.

Martin Balsam and Hector Elizondo are among the thieves. Balsam brings the “every man” feel to the movie, a regular guy looking to get what he thinks he’s due. Hector Elizondo is terrific as Mr. Gray…that’s right, this is the movie where all of the hijackers called each other by colors…something Quentin Tarantino used effectively in “Reservoir Dogs”.

What’s great about this movie is how honest it feels: for example, the kidnappers don’t get along – at all – leading to this great exchange:

Mr. Blue: “I once had a man shot for talking to me like that.”
Mr. Gray: “Yeah, well, that’s the difference between you and me. I’ve always done my own killing.”

“The Taking Of Pelham 1-2-3″ has a lot of action, really great action, and a terrific ending…which leads to one of the most acclaimed and controversial films of the decade…

7-Deliverance!

One of the most iconic films of the 70′s, but a bit overlooked these days. In 1972, this was an extremely controversial film – “squeal like a pig!” anyone?

Burt Reynolds plays outdoor fanatic Lewis Medlock, who is intent on seeing the Cahulawassee River before it’s turned into one huge lake. Lewis takes his friends on a river-rafting trip they’ll never forget into the dangerous American back-country.

“Deliverance” was one of the most iconic films of the 70′s, but it’s a bit overlooked these days. In 1972, this was an extremely controversial film – “squeal like a pig!” anyone? It was also one of the great action dramas of the seventies – Burt Reynolds became a superstar based on this film…

If you haven’t seen this brilliant movie, check out new blu-ray and DVD versions that have documentaries and commentary attached, and they are all worth viewing – and of course, there are the “dueling banjos!”

This was such a controversial film – brutal and violent, and of course its known for two amazing sequences: first, the “dueling banjos” scene, when the group comes across a young boy with a banjo…

“Squeal like a pig!”

And then there was the brutal scene with one of the most quoted lines in film history…as the group is ambushed and attacked by rednecks…this was one of the most controversial scenes in 70′s movie history…

Both scenes from “Deliverance” became permanent fixtures in pop culture forever…

Speaking Of Pop Culture Notoriety!

His breakout performance in Deliverance in 1972 made Reynolds a star. The same year, Reynolds gained even more notoriety when he posed naked in the April issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine – a landmark moment in publishing.

Reynolds claims the centerfold in Cosmopolitan hurt the chances for Deliverance and the film’s stars, including himself, from receiving Academy Awards.

6- Dirty Harry!

OK, I already included one Clint Eastwood movie – “Thunderbolt & Lightfoot”, which is lesser known…but of course, you HAVE TO put “Dirty Harry” on any list of classic 70′s action films, right?

Here is the plot: A mad man calling himself ‘the Scorpio Killer’ shoots people from San Francisco’s rooftops…terrorizing the city…

Police Inspector Harry Callahan is assigned to track down the psychopath, but when we first meet Harry, he is having a hot dog and interrupting a bank robbery…

“Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?”

One of the greatest lines in film history comes from this scene, as Harry disrupts the robbery, shoots all of the perps, and walks over to the last one alive. As he approaches, Harry fingers his trigger while a bank robber eyes his own gun lying nearby…

“I know what you’re thinking, punk. You’re thinking “did he fire six shots or only five?” Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow you head clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself a question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?”

That scene cements, within the first ten minutes, that Dirty Harry is a classic “cop who plays by his own rules”. This movie has a great plot, terrific direction by legendary Don Siegel, and Clint Eastwood IS Dirty Harry.

It is this exchange, however, that to me helps cement “Dirty Harry” as a classic action film of the 70′s…San Francisco’s Mayor wants Harry to explain why he shot a rapist…

Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That’s my policy.

The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?

Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher’s knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn’t out collecting for the Red Cross!

[walks out of the room]

The Mayor: He’s got a point.

“Dirty Harry” is a great film, and the sequels are pretty good as well, especially “Magnum Force” and “Sudden Impact!”

Now, speaking of cops who play by their own rules…

5 – The French Connection!

It was the Academy Award-winning Best Picture of 1971, and it’s the true story of “Popeye” Doyle, a NY cop determined to bust a heroin smuggling ring…

He is, of course, a cop willing to break all the rules in order to get his man – and that includes one of the most amazing car chases ever filmed…beautifully filmed by legendary Director William Friedkin, who went on to make “The Exorcist”, “To Live And Die In LA”, “Sorcerer” AND “Killer Joe”!

The Legendary Car Chase!

Thanks to the terrific website IMDB, here are some amazing anecdotes about the filming of the legendary car chase through the streets of New York in “The French Connection.”

The car crash during the chase sequence, at the intersection of Stillwell Ave. and 86th St., was unplanned and was included because of its realism. The man whose car was hit had just left his house a few blocks from the intersection to go to work and was unaware that a car chase was being filmed. The producers paid the bill for the repairs to his car!

According to IMDB, the car chase was filmed without obtaining the proper permits from the city! Members of the NYPD’s tactical force helped control traffic. But most of the control was achieved by the assistant directors with the help of off-duty NYPD officers, many of whom had been involved in the actual case.

A camera was mounted on the car’s bumper for the shots from the car’s point-of-view. Hackman did some of the driving but the extremely dangerous stunts were performed by Bill Hickman, with Friedkin filming from the backseat.

Friedkin operated the camera himself because the other camera operators were married with children and he was not. The mjaority of the chase was, however, very well choreographed, but it is that realism in the filming that makes the scene itself so heart-pounding!

The film spawned a less successful sequel, but it is also a great movie, just a different one…

4-Get Carter!

In 1971 Michael Caine tore up the screen as London gangster Jack Carter. Heading “up north” to get to the bottom of the recent death of his brother, he runs afoul of the local color, who don’t appreciate his meddling.

Not content to accept the police report of suicide, Carter begins investigating. He encounters the local mob boss, his sleazy chauffeur with eyes like “piss holes in the snow,” and the lovely town porn star. Naturally, he kicks alot of ass and takes names later.

This is a pure 70′s arthouse action movie – what a combo, right? But it’s not only a great film, Michael Caine is tough as nails, so well worth checking out!

3-Prime Cut!

Lee Marvin was one of film’s all-time tough guys, and no more so than in this gritty thriller, where he saves a naked Sissy Spacek from the mob…here’s a teaser:

Lee Marvin plays his toughest role ever, as an “Enforcer” for the Mob, who heads to Kansas City to get the money that Gene Hackman owes the Mob..

Oh yeah, Hackman’s not really interested in paying back what he owes…and from then on out, the fight is on!

Hackman plays a cattle rancher who not only grinds his enemies into sausage, but sells women as sex slaves.

The movie was considered highly risqué for its time based on its level of violence, as well as its graphic depiction of female slavery, including a scene depicting the auctioning of young women in the manner of beef cattle.

Gene Hackman digs into his role as the bad guy, but it’s Marvin to kick ass and takes no prisoners. There is a scene where Marvin and Sissy Spacek are chased through a wheat field by a shredder…a great action sequence.

Marvin and Spacek have a great rapport in the film, as he takes on a “father figure” role to help her escape from the bad guys…

A couple of years before she catapulted to stardom in “Carrie”, Sissy Spacek co-stars, and does a great job in the role…

This was Sissy Spacek’s feature film debut – and involves a lot of nudity.

Marvin and Gene Hackman have a number of great scenes together, a couple of tough guys chewing up the scenery in a great B-movie.

But at the end of day, nobody beats Lee Marvin, the coolest guy in town.

Speaking of the coolest guy in town, NOBODY was cooler than this guy in 1971:

2-Shaft!

Who’s the cat that won’t cop out, when there’s danger all about? John Shaft of course! This blaxploitation classic is a hard-charging action thriller about Detective John Shaft, played to perfection by Richard Roundtree – with a big gun, of course…

“You see this cat Shaft is a bad motherf-”
“Watch Your Mouth!”
“But I’m talking about Shaft!”
“Then we can dig it!”

Check out this movie and also buy the soundtrack on iTunes, it’s a classic as well from Isaac Hayes!

Now, this is my personal favorite of them all:

1-The Getaway!

Take notorious Director Sam Peckinpah, add the toughest – and coolest – action star of the time in Steve McQueen, and add new star Ali McGraw, and you have a dynamite action film from 1972 that is as entertaining today as the day it was released!

This is the film that led to McQueen and Macgraw leaving their spouses and running off together. Here is a surprisingly long trailer!

Here’s the plot: Master thief Doc McCoy knows his wife has been in bed with the local political boss in order to spring him from jail.

What he doesn’t know are all of the double-crosses that will sour the deal once he’s on the outside – and pulling off the ultimate robbery.

This is filled with iconic scenes, and so much cool it will put a chill on your living room! Just look at McQueen and MacGraw blasting their way out of trouble…

Ali McGraw’s Husband!

Ali MacGraw was one of Hollywood’s biggest female star when she made “The Getaway”, thanks to the mega-hit “Love Story.” She was also married to movie Executive Robert “The Kid Stays In The Picture” Evans!

MacGraw and McQueen began an affair during the filming of the movie, and ended up getting married…Evans discusses this part of his life in his terrific memoir, “The Kid Stays In The Picture.”

Oh Sally!

Sally Struthers has a deliciously wacky small role in the film, as the wife of a mild-mannered Dentist! They are both kidnapped by a ruthless thug out to find McQueen…

Struthers was a big star at the time on TV’s “All In The Family”…”The Getaway” is a great action movie, beautifully directed, and worth finding on dvd…

There you have it – ten great 70′s action films, with ten very big guns!